Steak Done Right

I'm always whoring out my own cooking successes, so instead I thought I'd pimp out Todd's and that man knows a grill. Steak, pork, chicken, crab legs, you name it, and the man has a knack. So let's get to it.

Todd's Steak


-2 steaks, any type, any thickness, but that shit better be marbled or you gotta take a time out and slap yourself
-Olive oil
-Salt & pepper
-Cumin
-Garlic powder
-Steak rub


Drizzle olive oil on the steaks and rub it into both sides. Season one side with salt, pepper, garlic powder and cumin, and the other side with steak rub.

For some reason this photo made me think of Optimus Prime but Todd was like, lol no so whatever.

Heat p and scrub down your grill. Set the grill to high. According to Todd, our grill gets Hellfire Hot. According to me, it goes to 11.  Todd uses propane by the way:

Ooh, look, flames of hell:

After about 2-3 minutes (because our grill goes to 11), or at least when you cannot hold your hand over the open grill for longer than 1 second, throw on your steaks:

Also, note how Todd laid the steaks, horizontally* This is important for super sophisticated grill marks:

Here is the um, midnight-in-the-jungle-with-only-a-flashlight-for-light view. Or worse, the Blair Witch view:

Shut the lid. After about 90 seconds (remember, our grill goes to ELEVEN), flip your steaks, maintaining the whore's horizontal position:

Shut the lid. After another 90 seconds, flip again, but this time, flip the steaks to a vertical position. After another 90 seconds, flip to the other side, revealing those bad ass grill marks:

 See?! Todd SAID the grill was hot! My steak is engulfed in flames! At this point, Todd turned the heat to low (since it was set originally to 11). Now you perform the press test, which my mother passed on to Todd, and which I cannot comprehend. "Todd's words: you have to actually have someone show you." So I guess if you don't have confidence in the press method, either cut into the thickest part of the steak, or take it off the heat and let it rest, tented under foil, for 5 minutes or so to let the meat finish cooking without being over-cooked. Anyways, Todd, doing the press test:

And the press test wins, and so we feast! Look at those sexy grill marks!

And even though I was too busy taking photos of Todd grilling (and myself wearing a Biore strip, more on that later), I still managed to successfully roast some veggies, tossed in olive oil, minced garlic and 1/2 cup of fancy shredded cheddar. I know it looks overdone but ask Todd, they were really, really good:

Yum! Steak and veggies covered in cheese! Nothing finer.

*Is it gross, stupid, or both that during my very tired moments, the way I remember which is vertical and which is horizontal, is that I say to myself "horizontal tango!" and then I know? I'm sure the more... acrobatic of you will call me stupid. Or maybe you'll just call me tired.