Pork Tenderloin with Cherry Sauce and Green Beans

I swear to God last night's dinner was like being transported back to the holiday season. Never mind the colors of the meal, but the flavors were rich, decadent and thanks to the port in the sauce, downright merry.

I got this recipe from Country Cook's Illustrated's 30 Minute Suppers section and in a true moment of laziness, instead of writing out the recipe here, I took a picture of the recipe card.

Now, CCI and I have butted heads in the past because there's no way to verify to them that you're already a paid member when browsing their recipes online; they want a credit card number for a two week trial membership, and that really pissed me off. But I will say that if you're in the market for a new food magazine subscription, then give these guys a shot. And not just Cook's Illustrated, but Country Cook's Illustrated, as the latter has those handy cards. Like so:

And yes, some cherry sauce got on the card during my haste to plate this dish up and snap a photo before I tore into it like a rabid dog. This recipe was beyond easy, and we all have seen that selfsame green bean recipe but if you want it OMG NOW, here:

Green beans: trim and parboil green beans til you can pierce them with a fork, then drain and place in ice water. Once cool, wrap them in a clean dish towel to dry.

When ready to cook green beans, put skillet over medium heat with a couple tsp - one tbsp butter. Once they're heated through, add half a minced shallot and about 1/4 cup finely snipped parsley. Toss to coat and cook a further couple of minutes to soften the shallots. Donezo!

Egg Drop Soup - Fast!

So last Wednesday... No, let me back up. Last Sunday, we attended a birthday party at Peter Piper Pizza, which is just a place you take your kids so they can run around while you get a headache. But there's also skee ball so it's got that going for it. Anyways, Alex had fun and we got to see friends, so that was fine and dandy.

Then, the Wednesday after, Todd came down with an absolutely horrendous cold. Thanks Peter Piper! Now, let me tell you, when this man gets sick, he is KO'd for approximately 48 hours and then he's fine. Just... Fine. He gets the aches and pains, the sore throat, the coughing. He gets to skip congestion because I guess he's God's gift to man, but I digress. This time, though... THIS TIME, man, he's been knocked over for, what, 9 days? Judging by his snoring this morning, I'm just going to go ahead and round that up to 10. A 10 day cold, AKA the flu.

He hasn't been this sick since the end of our honeymoon, when he got sick from smoking a cigar in our hotel room in Rome, head hanging out the window in the wintery evening, people gazing and just generally looking like a tourist on their last day in Rome. I DON'T WANT TO MISS A THING. The next day we were at Ostia Antica IN THE RAIN and he's running around like a puppy on chuck wagon day, hiding in old caves where cults gathered and checking out ancient public toilets with running water. Then the next day we're on a 10 hour flight and his sinuses just like, oh I don't know, explode or something. I'll never forget the angry red streaks down his face and throat, where he had tried in vain to rub the pressure out. Oh, that flight ran out of drinking water halfway through. GOOD TIMES.

SO ANYWAYS. That cold/flu was bad and this one has proved to be just as formidable. I pronounce that word en francais in my head whenever I use it. FOR-MI-DAHBL. I thought I was in the clear, too. He came down with it last Wednesday, and I didn't get the oh shit feeling until we woke up at 3:40am THIS Wednesday morning to Alex having a pee accident and I realized my throat was on fire and my limbs were filling with the pin-prickly aches of doom. Oh good. It's heee-eeere!

I was absolutely out on Wednesday, which also happened to be my mumblethirtyfourthmumble birthday. And, good mother that I am, since Todd had to do some work, I just set Alex up to watch Curious George all morning while I burrowed into a nest of blankets and pillows on the living room sofa marathoning episodes of Arrow which is good and bad and awesome and stupid and EVERYONE keeps landing in the hospital, it's great.

I sucked down ibuprofin and bowls of broth brought to you by Better Than Bouillon and that night, after Alexandra threw up three times and finally got put to bed after she was in the all clear zone, Todd made me my birthday dinner which was linguine with crab in spicy white wine sauce which was as delicious as it sounds, especially when you pair it with ginger ale. Then I writhed around in agony on his lap while he watched episodes of Breaking Bad.

Later at midnight Alex woke up with a 102 degree fever so we gave her medicine and all piled into bed so we could all writhe around in agony together because we are family. Thursday morning, I piled her into a nest of pillows and blankets to marathon Curious George which is good and bad and awesome and stupid and EVERYONE keeps trusting this goddamn monkey with shit like TRIPS TO THE GODDAMN MOON, it's great.

I wanted protein that morning (Alex had toast and apples, because hey vomit), but also knew that chicken broth was my best bet at recovery. So I did a lightning quick google search and found one of the simplest yet tastiest soup recipes in my life. And I wanted to share it with you! And also share my agony. My misery. My child's pain and suffering. Todd's servitude to his sick girls. But mostly, and I'm being completely honest here, my agony. My misery.

Here was my countercurse for yesterday's agony. Yesterday's misery.

Egg Drop Soup

serves two

4 cups chicken broth (I used Better Than Bouillon)

salt and pepper to taste

sesame oil (optional but you should do it)

2 eggs, lightly beaten

fresh scallions, sliced (I used chives)

soy sauce (optional but you should do it)

So just boil your broth. Once it's boiling, add the salt, pepper and few drops of sesame oil. Let boil another minute or so. Next, sloooowly pour in your eggs, stirring rapidly in a clockwise motion. Once they're in, ladle your soup into bowls and garnish with the scallions or chives. Add a few drops of soy sauce to deepen the flavor, and you're in like Flynn.

The recipe I found online suggested you could add a slurry of cornstartch to the broth before adding your eggs in order to thicken it. I contemplated doing so but ultimately did the original as is, and I'm glad I did. There's something refreshing about enjoying a soup with so few ingredients. And, hey there, if you use Better Than Bouillon, there's the added benefit of knowing that 8 oz of this soup has only 50 calories, give or take.

So, there's the reward for listening to me bitch about illness. SOUP.

Low-Carb Caprese Bites

I absolutely hate how blurry this photograph is, but I was in between making a pie and a soup for a luncheon and was in a hurry. It was the only one I took so this is all I have, but since we're so close to Christmas, the colors really are perfect for a light, healthy appetizer for a holiday party. Plus they're quick and easy to make, so long as you have nice, big basil leaves to use. I ran out and actually had to utilize a sloppier method of pinning two leaves per toothpick, so instead of the 24 I wanted to make, I settled for 18.

Low-Carb Caprese Bites

makes 24

1 tub mini mozzarella balls from Trader Joe's

1 1lb package Mini Pearl tomatoes from Trader Joe's

24 large, rinsed basil leaves

24 toothpicks (obviously)

1 tsp Balsamic vinegar

1 tsp extra virgin olive oil

So, I'm sure this is pretty self-explanatory. Pierce the basil leaf, then the cheese, then the tomato, and the basil leaf again to make a cute little boat. Repeat 23 times. Add a little sprig or two of basil, you know, for flair. For pizzazz.

Refrigerate, covered, until ready to serve. Mix your vinegar and oil well, then using a spoon, drizzle the dressing over your little basil boats. Presto!

These were really yummy and a welcome alternative to heavy cheeses or pates or dips you typically encounter this time of year. And I originally wanted to call them No-Carb, but since there is a WHOPPING .47g of carbohydrates in a cherry tomato, I didn't want to lie to my audience.

French Onion Soup Gratinee



We finally, FINALLY, had weather to match the time of year this past weekend, so naturally my friends and I had a soup party and then the next day I made French onion soup. Yesterday I had some for lunch and Todd was like, MY GOD MAN, NO MORE SOUP and I was like, tough toodles, buddy, we're having another kind of soup on Tuesday.

Look, it's been over 90 degrees for about seven years here, so when it dipped into the fifties, my Dutch oven came out in all its glory, okay?

Anyways. I got this recipe off of All Recipes so I want to link you there in order to give credit where it's due, and to not seem like a lying, thieving asshole. But I will also lay out the ingredients and steps here for those who are like, MY GOD MAN, NO MORE LINKS

French Onion Soup Gratinee

serves four

4 tbsp butter

1 tsp salt

2 large red onions, halved and sliced thin

2 large yellow onions, halved and sliced thin

48 ounces chicken broth

14 ounces beef broth

1/2 cup red wine

1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce

2 sprigs fresh parsley

1 sprig fresh thyme

1 bay leaf

1 tbsp balsamic vinegar

salt and pepper to taste

4 thick slices French baguette

8 slices Gruyere or Swiss

1/2 cup shredded Parmesan

4 pinches paprika (I did not do this)

The woman on All Recipes was to the point so here are her directions that I followed to a T (aside from the paprika), and I rarely follow something to a T:

Melt butter in a large pot over medium-high heat. Stir in salt, red onions and sweet onions. Cook 35 minutes, stirring frequently, until onions are caramelized and almost syrupy.

Mix chicken broth, beef broth, red wine and Worcestershire sauce into pot. Bundle the parsley, thyme, and bay leaf with twine and place in pot. Simmer over medium heat for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove and discard the herbs. Reduce the heat to low, mix in vinegar and season with salt and pepper. Cover and keep over low heat to stay hot while you prepare the bread.

Preheat oven broiler. Arrange bread slices on a baking sheet and broil 3 minutes, turning once, until well toasted on both sides. Remove from heat; do not turn off broiler.

Arrange 4 large oven safe bowls or crocks on a rimmed baking sheet. Fill each bowl 2/3 full with hot soup. Top each bowl with 1 slice toasted bread, 2 slice Gruyere cheese and 1/4 of the Asiago or mozzarella cheese. Sprinkle a little bit of paprika over the top of each one.

Broil 5 minutes, or until bubbly and golden brown. As it softens, the cheese will cascade over the sides of the crock and form a beautifully melted crusty seal. Serve immediately!

Obligatory line from my favorite movie Clue: "And oh my, this soup's delicious, isn't it?"

Teriyaki Salmon with Sriracha Cream Sauce

Oh yeah, it's as good as it looks, and then some. Todd basically went apeshit over this, and after the second bite was all "This one is a keeper." Which is fine by me, considering it was melt-in-your-mouth tender and juicy, had just enough spice for flavorful warmth without tipping into dangerous third-degree-burn territory, and also really, really easy.

Teriyaki Salmon with Sriracha Cream Sauce

serves two

1/4 cup brown sugar, packets

1/4 cup soy sauce

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger (I had crystallized from Penzeys)

1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

2 tbsp honey

1 cup water

1 tbsp cornstarch

2 tbsp soy sauce

2 6-8oz salmon fillets

1/4 cup mayo

1 tbsp sriracha

Whisk together the first six ingredients to make your teriyaki marinade, and pour into a small saucepan. Bring to a simmer. Make a slurry with the cornstarch and soy sauce. Mine had been opened before so it was refrigerated and therefore cold. Cold liquid works best with cornstarch so if your soy sauce is room temp, I recommend just using cold water.

Science, bitch!

Add the slurry to the marinade in the sauce pan and stir until somewhat thickened. Usually the easiest way to tell is how the simmering bubbles look. Trust me, you can tell.

Let this cool to room temperature. I poured mine into a pyrex and left it on the counter for like, 10 minutes or so. Not utter room temperature but close enough! Put your salmon in and let it marinate at least 30 minutes in the fridge.

Set oven for 400. Transfer marindae and salmon, the whole kit and kaboodle, into an 8x8 pyrex which has been treated with cooking spray. Bake until salmon flakes off easily, about 15-20 minutes.

While that's baking, mix together your mayo and sriracha. To achieve a fancy shmancy look, scoop the sauce mix into a small ziploc bag and cut the tiniest snip out of a corner of the bag. Once you've plated your salmon, simply squeeze the sauce into a fun pattern onto the salmon. Serve, AKA devour, immediately!

For anyone who wants to know, the side we had was haricot verts, parboiled about five minutes, cooled under ice or in ice water, and then sauteed in sesame oil. Had I sesame seeds or scallions, I would have adorned the beans with them.

ENJOYYYY

Zucchini Tots

You know it's a good recipe when after taking one bite you pick up your phone and text two friends about it. That's what happened this past Wednesday after I attempted the first batch of these delicious little devils. I have two friends, Kendra and Amber, who have zucchini in their gardens and are always looking for new things to do with the prolific courgette. These are absolutely perfect.

The only issue for some people is that they call for a mini muffin tray. Totally worth the purchase, for this recipe alone. Anyways, I found this on Pinterest but made some tweaks, so here goes.

Zucchini Tots

makes 24 (serving size is three, supposedly)

2 large zucchini

1/2 cup panko

2/3 cup shredded cheddar

1/3 cup finely diced red onion

2 large eggs

Garlic powder, to taste

Trader Joe's 21 Seasoning Salute, to taste (AKA go batshit crazy)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray a mini muffin pan with cooking spray, or grease with butter. HAVE FUN WITH IT FOLKS.

Grate your zucchini using the large size on your box grater. This goes so quickly and easily, even for accident prone moi, that I don't recommend lugging out the foot processor and fitting it with the grating tool.

Take a clean, thin but durable dish towel (mine tore) and use it to squeeze out all the moisture from the zucchini. This takes several twists and squeezes.

Add all the ingredients, pell-mell style, in a large bowl and stir to thoroughly mix everything together. Fill each of the muffin cups to the top, pressing down to make sure they hold together when you remove them.

Bake about 18 - 20 minutes, until the tops are golden. Now, the original called for 16-18 but in my notoriously, infamously over-hot oven, it still needed at least 18 minutes. Plus, at the halfway mark I turned the pan around to make sure everything was even.

For those of you 1%ers who have convection ovens then WHATEVER man.

After they're out of the oven, I recommend popping them out and serving soon after, so long as you take care not to burn yourself. They're amazing cold and warm, but nothing beats them when they're hot.

Easy to reheat and to freeze, they are just amazing. I think they're better than tater tots thanks to all the yummy ingredients, but maybe I'm crazy.

Enjoy! They rock with a little bit of ketchup as a side to a delicious grilled steak.

Randoms, I guess.

I have so many smallish things I'd love to talk about so I guess I'll just file them together in a mishmash of a randoms post.

1. Pinterest has been treating me well lately. On Sunday I made two recipes, balsamic pork and the accompanying green beans with olives, sun dried tomatoes and pine nuts that is linked to in that pork recipe. Both were smash hits and also very easy, and I know they will be regular features in my fall recipe portfolio.

Portfolio! Miss Piggy! Lady Holiday!!!

Aside from those, you'll recall my latest food post, the Israeli couscous with chicken and peas. So good! And before that, I made an absolutely delicious chicken yakisoba and a great garlic dijon salmon too. So, yeah. Pinterest has been delighting me lately.

So has Epicurious!

Epicurious is a great app I have on my iPhone, and I've so far gotten two great recipes from it, a grilled butterflied leg of lamb recipe that Todd absolutely knocked it out of the park, and just last night I made chicken with a sauce originally tied to Chilean sea bass. Supremed lemon wedges, kalamatas, rinsed capers, oregano and olive oil on top of pan seared chicken tenders. It was delightful!

P.S. I now know how to supreme a lemon.


2. BREAKING BAD.

Okay, so I can't talk much about it because Todd and I literally JUST started it two nights ago, and are only into the fourth episode. But holy shit! I know we're late to this party considering there are only two episodes left, and I'm scared of the internet after that because I will likely get spoiled on so many things, but I'm glad we finally bit the bullet, took the plunge, got off the dime, etc.

And I'm so impressed by the acting. Bryan Cranston is a genius, and Aaron Paul deserves the role that he got extended. Apparently his character was supposed to get killed off in the first season, but the powers that be loved Paul's job so much that they made him a permanent character. That is a testament to his acting skills.

I have this weird urge to spoil myself on basically EVERYTHING I get into. I did it with the books The Pillars of the Earth and World Without End, and a slew of other books too. I do it with all the shows I watch, scouring the internet for tidbits and rumors, or reading the wiki pages of TV series that are no longer playing so I can read ahead and keep myself in the story without having to wait until Alex goes to bed that night to get back into that world. I become obsessed with and starved for new worlds that are created for me and other readers/viewers to enjoy.

But not now. Oh, no. I'm not spoiling myself for this show. And that is very, very weird.


3. Exercise, man. So it is very, very true that it takes just 12 weeks of inactivity to lose all progress in a particular sportt or exercise. I all but quit biking during the summer. After a bike ride in 108 degree heat that had me nearly vomiting after just seven miles (with three left to go), I locked up my dad's bike for the season.

At that time, I had whittled my time down to 48 minutes for a 10.25 mile ride. Once I think I even got it down to 46. Well, for the past two, maybe three weeks I've been biking again and my God man, my time is so sucky. Consistently at 52 minutes and yesterday was even worse, clocking it at 57 minutes. WHAT THE HELL MAN. I was prepared for some set backs but to lose nine minutes on my time? Gross.

I'm glad summer is coming to an end, even though we'll hit 100 at least once more this week (who knows what next week has in store), because I'm ready for more moving around outside. Even the dog walks stopped, thanks to the heat and my plantar fasciitis. Oh, those HIIT workouts? Can't do them if they include any sort of explosive jumping movements. They murdered my feet worse than a weekly run did. So when I do my strength workouts, all movements have to have my feet planted firmly on the floor, save for walking lunges (which I still have to do slowly, carefully).

These past two weeks have seen a return of both bike rides and dog walks, for which I'm grateful. It feels good getting back into my regular routines again. I think it will be good for Alex, too.


4. Alex's potty woes have for the most part abated, I'm delighted to say. Wow. That trip to San Diego really and truly threw one hell of a wrench into things. Her sleep is still a liiiittle wacky (still requiring lights to fall asleep), but she's back in underpants and I'm back to being happy. Just like incorporating dog walks back into our routine, I see things are settling for her, that she's getting back into the swing of things. It's taken over three weeks, but it's happening.

I know everyone is different when it comes to parenting styles but this little glitch in the system proves to me how children thrive on routine, rules and parameters for everyday stuff. That's not to say it isn't good to shake it up every now and then to strengthen them and prepare them for a life that is more chaos than control, but it did show me that a happy kid is one who knows, for the most part, what's coming down the pike for them in their little worlds.

And it shows me that taking a vacation three weeks after potty training is insane.

Israeli Couscous with Chicken and Peas

So I've been absent from the old bloggy blog for awhile now, thanks to a long overdue and much needed vacation. We stayed with Todd's uncle and aunt in San Diego for just over a week, and my God, it was heaven.

I drank hot tea each morning, whilst wearing a sweater and slippers, but by the afternoons we were enjoying the beach, swimming in the surf one at a time while the other stayed and played with Alex in the sand. We visited Old Town, OB, had a bonfire dinner on Shelter Island, and not once did we get mired in horrible traffic (miraculous, let me tell you).

We went to restaurants, Balboa park, and only had one miserable day thanks to the horrors of a busy day at San Diego Zoo. Remember my plantar fasciitis? Yeah, well, it's going to remember San Diego Zoo for the rest of its life (which I hope isn't long). We sat outside every night, where the temperature + wind chill made it feel more deliciously chilly than anything Tucson has to offer, even in the dead of "winter." Sweaters were worn again, people. In August. It was... perfect.

Anyways, now we're home and sneezing and achy with allergies, and I wake up with bloody noses every morning. Hurray, desert! Well Jil, what the fuck does this have to do with couscous? Well, I'll tell you, faithful reader, I'll tell you. Having enjoyed all that cool weather, it made me crave a cool weather dish. I didn't realize it, either, until I tasted dinner last night.

This meal sounds light and summery thanks to the lemon and the scallions, but the richness of the broth that soaks into the couscous, and the heartiness of the chopped chicken and peas makes it extremely comforting, filling and is somewhat reminiscent of a chicken pot pie, or a chicken noodle soup. Even better, it rained last night, which washed away some of the heat and reminded us, ever so slightly, of those cold nights in San Diego.

Enough already! I got this recipe from A Family Feast but made a few changes here and there.

Israeli Couscous with Chicken and Peas
serves two

5 chicken tenders
EVOO (I feel sort of sleazy typing that out)
Salt and pepper to taste
Garlic powder to taste
2 cup chicken broth (I use no sodium bouillon powder)
Zest of one lemon
Juice of one lemon
1 tsp coarse sea salt
1 tsp cracked black pepper
1.5 cup Israeli (also known as pearl) couscous
2 scallions, thinly sliced, both white and green parts
1 cup frozen peas, thawed under hot water
1/2 cup shredded parmesan, plus extra

Heat a drizzle of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Season your chicken with the garlic powder and salt and pepper. Cook chicken until just done, dice it up and add it back to the skillet, setting it aside. I did this about thirty minutes before cooking the rest thanks to Alex refusing to go to bed.

Combine the broth, zest and lemon juice, plus the salt and pepper and set aside. In a large saucepan, heat another drizzle of the olive oil over medium high and add the couscous, toasting lightly for 2-3 as you stir frequently so it won't burn. Next, add the broth combo and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium low and cover, simmering for about 8-10 minutes until couscous is al dente.

You'll want remaining liquid in the pan, so use that as your guide, too. Now, add your scallions, peas and chicken, plus the 1/2 cup parmesan and stir until it's all mixed up (I have a 311 song stuck in my head now). Sprinkle with extra parmesan, if you so desire (you will) and enjoy!

I do want to add that I usually love to absolutely cover my dish in parmesan. But I will say to those who avoid dairy (I'm looking at you, Kat), the creaminess of the couscous and broth, the richness of everything, is divine. The cheese is just a little bonus, but by no means will this dish lack in flavor if you skip it.

Now, if it were only 65 degrees with a whipsmart wind coming off the sea right outside my window.

Rack of Lamb with Greek Salad

Well hidey-ho! This past Sunday we had a truly delightful family dinner. Alex sat with us and ate what we did aside from the lamb. She's eaten lamb before, I think twice. The first time she cried. The second time was all indifference due to her running around the house like a wild animal, me stopping her mid-sprint, making her take a bite and sending her on her way.

That's also how I'll get her to sign up for cotillion classes!

Anyways, we had what you see in the photo above: delicious, succulent rack of lamb with a wonderfully brirght and summery Greek salad that my darling friend Kendra came up with after tweaking several recipes she'd come across. I too made a few tweaks, depending on what I had available and due to my healthy addiction to garlic.

So here it is folks, a BFF fusion meal.

Rack of Lamb with Greek Salad

serves two because who gives up two of their chops for a couple of friends?  ***

2 large sprigs rosemary, leaves stripped and chopped fine (I snipped them to smithereens in a ramekin)

2 large cloves garlic, chopped fine

1 tbsp olive oil

1 1lb rack of lamb, some fat trimmed

Salt and pepper to taste

1 cucumber, sliced and diced (I diced the larger slices into nine pieces, for reference)

12oz +/- cherry tomatoes, quartered

2 tbsp fresh chives, snipped

1 tsp dried oregano

1 tsp dill

Drizzle olive oil

Drizzle pinot grigio vinegar

1/2 cup feta crumbles

2 pieces naan flatbread (optional)

Set the oven to 375. Heat a cast iron skillet over medium high heat and while it warms up, mix your rosemary, garlic and olive oil, muddling them in that selfsame ramekin used for the rosemary. Using your hands, rub the mixture into the lamb. Nay, massage it! Really let it know that you care but draw the line at buying it flowers. You don't want it thinking you're already picking out china patterns, do you?

Add salt and pepper.

When the skillet is nice and hot, toss in your lamb and sear it on all sides. Then pop it in the oven and set your timer for 15 minutes.

Wait, would you send the flowers to the lamb or to the herb mixture? I don't know, man. Ask Dear Abby. Or Julia Child.

So, while your lamb cooks, and to keep you from excitedly pacing around your kitchen wiping anticipatory drool off your chin (I did that anyway), assemble your salad. Mix everything together in a big bowl, save for the feta. Put the bowl in the fridge to keep cool, and I don't know, man, set the table or yell at your kids or something. Anything to keep yourself distracted.

Here, this will distract you. Why on earth in the first Harry Potter movie does Hagrid go all "That is VERY important, Harry, you STICK TO YOUR TICKET." Like, why Hagrid? Nobody collects the tickets at platform 9 3/4. Not that I recall. I've read the books about five times through, Hagrid. I mean, if you can figure out how to walk though a damn wall, then I think that trumps holding a damn ticket. Amiright?

After the timer goes off, remove your lamb and, sigh of all sighs, let it rest at least five minutes and if you're really brave, about ten. This is important, as the meat is still cooking and there's the whole thing of letting the juices, that had accumulated in the center, escape onto your cutting board.

Remove your salad from the fridge and add your feta, tossing to evenly distribute. Plate the salad and carve the lamb. As that is happening, quickly warm up your flatbread in the microwave and cover with another plate to keep warm.

And... you're done. YOU GET TO EAT THE LAMB.

If you don't, I will.

***

Spring Rolls Sprung Up All In Here

So yesterday I had to go get some pad thai sauce at the store, and while there in the Asian section (thanks, Fry's), my eye caught a package of spring roll skins. I had never before made spring rolls and was instantly intrigued. Since Alex saw them too and decided to put one in the basket, I was like fuck it:

Now, if you ask my bestie Kendra, last night you would have thought that I was attempting something truly difficult like performing open heart surgery or beating a level of Candy Crush, I texted her for help so many times.

Turns out though, after a quick hop onto You Tube for a tutorial on softening and folding said spring roll skins, it is so ridiculously easy that I think I owe Kendra another apology. SORRY KENDRA. I didn't even buy any extra ingredients for the filling, as I had everything already in my fridge and freezer.

So here is my recipe, but I'm going to make more tonight and want to really explore all the tasty alternatives. Seriously though, you can stuff these puppies with anything and still enjoy them. PLUS there are like six skins to a 200 calorie serving, so an appetizer of two rolls is like, chump change, man. CHUMP CHANGE.

Now, I was frazzled last night because it was something I'd not done before, and I was sort of scattered in my food prep. I hope this doesn't come through in how I list my ingredients (I like to list them in order of appearance like fancy smart people cookbooks do), but if it does, I apologize.


Mahi Mahi Spring Rolls
makes four rolls

1 cup (give or take) of finely chopped cabbage
2 scallions sliced, both white and green parts
4 large sprigs cilantro
1 4oz. portion of mahi mahi. I get mine frozen and individually wrapped at Costco.
2 tbsp hoisin sauce
4 spring roll skins
peanut sauce (you can make your own or mince down the lazy man trail like I did and use peanut satay sauce that you've had in your pantry for about a year because you made satays like just that once and decided "I will make these forever" and then promptly forget about)

Okay, SO. Mix up your cabbage and scallions and set aside in a small bowl. Prepare your work station with a large cutting board. I can't believe I made that a step. Sorry. What's wrong with me?

In a small skillet over medium high heat, add some oil and once it's heated through, add your fish. Once you flip it over, add the hoisin sauce for flavor. Why else would I add some goddamn sauce, Jil? For its accounting skills? You're right, I apologize. I am apparently in an extremely self-deprecating mood today. I should start telling French jokes next!

Remove the fish and cut it into four strips, lengthwise. Set aside.

Fill a large skillet (or something similarly shaped) with hot water and one at a time, slide the spring roll skins in and rotate until they soften. The first one I let linger awhile and it was extremely gooey and difficult to work with. So you know, stop before that point. I am so helpful!
Now, transfer the skin to the cutting board, smooth side down, and put a small heap of cabbage/scallion mix towards the bottom. Top with a slice of the fish and a sprig of cilantro, and fold the bottom part of the skin up and over the filling. Next, fold the sides over and then simply roll the stuff upwards.

This guy was a big help:

And then, presto! That's all! Finish up with the last three and then chill before serving. Dunk those bad boys in your sauce and devour while standing around in the kitchen while you wait for your skillet to heat up in order to cook pad thai. You didn't buy that sauce packet for nothing!

Fish Tacos!*

But Jil, you say. Jil, there is not a damn taco on this plate. Where are the fixin's? Where the fuck is the food, you say.

Aha!, faithful reader and a half, I retort. There ARE tacos and there ARE fixin's. I just couldn't resist taking a photo of this lovely fresh looking arrangement. Turn away if you do not like cilantro. Mom, I know you're trying your best, and I am proud of you.

Anyways, we had these Tuesday night and they were scrumptious. In addition to what you see, I had sauteed mixed baby bell peppers and red onion, and some heated corn tortillas waiting for us at the coffee table, where we eat like children, or maybe homeless people if either of those demographics had their own coffee tables.

YOU ARE SO INSENSITIVE JIL. Well, where else would a child or a homeless person have coffee? In a sippy cup? A rum bottle? Actually that sounds a lot like how most parents probably drink their coffee.

Look man, I've had four hours of sleep.

Fish Tacos
serves two

6 - 8 baby bell peppers, sliced into sticks
1/2 red onion, thinly sliced
olive oil
12 oz white fish (pictures is mahi mahi)
2 tbsp flour
Garlic powder
Ancho chili powder
1/4 cup fresh cilantro, finely chopped
1 lime, quartered
1/2 avocado, sliced
6 corn tortillas
Pico de gallo if you are a bad ass

Pat your fish dry and then just when you think their humor couldn't possibly get any more sardonic, pat them dry again.

Heat oil in a cast iron or stainless steel skillet over medium heat until piping hot, and add your peppers and onions. I wish you guys could see the sleep deprived typos happening over here, man. Saute/stir fry until tender and slightly carmelized, about 10 minutes or so.

While that happens, dredge your fish fillets in the flour, and then sprinkle with the garlic and chili powders. If you want kick, add some cayenne, man, whatever.

Remove the peppers and onions and keep warm. Add a bit more oil and if you are so inclined (I was), add a bit of butter. Fish and butter, people. Don't make them divorce. Cook about two minutes a side or until you achieve some nice golden color.

While that cooks, wrap your tortillas in a damp paper towel and microwave for thirty seconds. Leave those bitches in there until your fish is done.

When it's finish, plate up in such a fashion that it shames my photo above. Take the bowl of peppers and onions to the table and IF YOU ARE AN ASSKICKER you will cover the bowl with the plate upon which you heated your tortillas, keeping everything warm.

Yes, I am smart, actually, an internet IQ test proved it. Although I just found out yesterday that you don't need to highlight a word to italicize, or bold it, or underline it, you simply need to have your cursor within the word. Try it out. Impress your friends.

Enjoy those tacos, man.




*This post was written on Friday, the same day as the HIIT post, and yes, Jil is on four hours of sleep, and no she didn't do it two days in a row. I don't even know if that makes sense.

Crab Cakes!

I'm normally a huge seafood lover, but lately I've gone off the deep end. I hope there's shellfish in the deep end! The other day we had moules, and then my mom served scallops one day for lunch and now I'm just hooked. LIKE A FISH

I could keep going on and on forever.

Summer time screams seafood to me, and the other day, that scream manifested itself into these bad boys:

I loved making these because I took advice from several sources and combined them, and they still turned out fabulously. It's nice to learn lessons in cooking while cooking, but those lessons lose a bit of potency when they're mingling with the sting of fucking something up. Unless you never look before crossing the street and get hit by a car. No matter the sting, that is one potent lesson.

Anyways. I hope you all look before crossing the street.

One tip I got from my mom who got it from some famous chef was to use different crab meats. Not just lump, and not just the big piles of "fancy" shredded crab meat either. I used a can comprised of 15% leg meat from Trader Joe's, a can of fancy white crab meat from Bumble Bee and my favorite, the Kroger brand lump crab meat. I think this is hands down they way to go, so if you find yourself with an opportunity to use more than one type, go for it, gibbon.

Panko Crusted Crab Cakes (derived from this recipe)
serves 4

3 tbsp mayo
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1/2 tbsp Dijon
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/2 tbsp Old Bay seasoning
1/4 cup fresh parsley, finely chopped
1/4 cup scallions, finely chopped
1 tbso fresh chopped dill
1lb crab meat (see above)
1/4 cup Panko, plus more for sprinkling
3 tbsp butter
1/4 cup olive oil give or take
lemon wedges

First, drain the hell out of your crab. I use the tried and true method of pressing the can's lid hard against the meat while it's still in the can, but then after that I also pressed the crab hard into a sieve with a large wooden spoon.

In a large bowl, combine the first six ingredients and whisk until smooth. Next, add the parsley, scallions and dill. Whisk again until thoroughly mixed. Fold int he crabmeat and 1/4 cup of the panko crumbs.

Fold, huh. I'm not much of folding, especially when there's a huge mess of crab and a relatively tiny amount of wet ingredients into which it must be folded. So just mix that shit up nice and good. There. Now I'm Jilly-fied this recipe.

Mix it all together and, if you size it like the original recipe did, you will form it into 16 patties. I made 12. We're pigs. Whatever.

Here is where I dovetailed some other tips in with the advice of this recipe. While forming each patty, I placed the patty between my palms and squeeeeeezed the dickens out of it over the sink. Even though we did lots of draining and straining, there was still a whole lot of moisture to these puppies.

Place the formed patties on a parchment lined cookie sheet. When all patties are formed, take your Panko and liberally sprinkle over not just the patties but the cookie sheet as well. When the tops are adequately covered, carefully pick up each patty and sort of lightly pat the Panko crumbs with them. If that makes sense?

Now, refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. Have some vinho verde, you've earned it. Watch Wheel of Fortune, let your hair down.

In a large skillet (I used cast iron), melt a tbsp of the butter in 2 tbsp of the oil. I love this tip from the recipe I used: when the foam subsides, add four crab cakes and cook over moderate heat until golden crisp, about three minutes a side. When they're done, drain on paper towels and repeat the process, butter + oil + crab cakes, until all of them are finished.

I just love that note, when the foam subsides. What a wonderful visual aid to help gauge when it's best to add your cakes.

This was so delicious! I skipped a sauce because I ruined my saffron sauce (hey, don't add your saffron cream sauce to the skillet you cooked your crab cakes in because you will ruin your sauce and waste that saffron and that is an expensive lesson). Instead I just drizzled a wee bit of Tabasco on each cake and squeezed liberal amounts of lemon juice on them. SO delicous!!

Things I'm Into Right Now

Man, what a difference it makes when your contacts aren't messing with you in the morning. Yesterday they were being a pain in the ass all morning, and it made me feel bleary from head to toe. But today, they're clear and in place and not blurry at all, and that feels good. Plus, Alexandra and Todd both woke up when I did before I left for work, and it's so nice to kiss smiling faces instead of sneaking out like a bandit, trying not to wake anyone up.

Anyways!


1. Kiss My Face shampoo and conditioner in Green Tea and Lime.

It's light and refreshing, doesn't have all those nasty things like SLS and parabens, and from what I could tell, some pretty spot on ingredients. One thing I've learned from ingredient checking is that the first ingredients are the most abundant. Here is the list right off their website:

Aloe Barbadensis*, Rosemarinus Officinalis (Rosemary) Leaf Extract*, Chamomilla Recutitia (Chamomile) Flower Extract*, Melissa Offcinalis (Lemon Balm) Leaf Extract*, Urtica Dioca (Nettles) Leaf Extract*, Olea Europaea (Olive) Leaf Extract*, Calendula Officinlis (Marigold) Flower Extract*, Salvia Officinalis (Sage) Leaf Extract*, Lavendula Angustifolia (Lavender) Flower Extract*, Olefin Sulfonate, Cocomidopropyl Betaine, Glycerin, Sodium Chloride (Sea Salt), Caprylic Acid, Glycine, Lavendula Angustifolia (Lavender) Flower Oil, Camellia Sinensis (Green Tea) Extract, Hydrolyzed Wheat Protein, Tocopherol, Citrus Aurantifolia (Lime) Oil, Potassium Sorbate, Citric Acid. *Organic

Now, nearly all of the run of the mill commercial shampoos out there like Pantene or whatever, will have water, then SLS as the first two ingredients. Which is why when I realized the first NINE ingredients listed were all organic plant matter or extracts, I was like hell yes. Both of the weirder ingredients, Olefin Sulfonate and Cocomidopropyl Betaine, are components or derivatives of coconut oil, so while it could be synthetically created (and lacks the telltale organic asterisk), I really don't give a shit. They're not stripping agents like SLS and other detergents, so Imma let it slide.

I will stop a moment and bitch that the shampoo calls itself Green Tea and Lime but those ingredients are pretty close to the bottom. However, I think they're mostly there to perform as fragrance, and since there is no ubiquitous and suspicious "Fragrance" listed, Imma let that slide too.

Jesus Jil, way to write an essay about a shampoo. Anyways, you can find this stuff at Whole Foods or even better, on Vita Cost.



2. Neutrogena Body Oil

And now for below the neck! I have a feeling I've posted about this stuff before, but back then it was used more sporadically in my moisturizing routine (I was hooked on Jason products then but something changed in their formulas for both lotions and hair care and I'm no longer as impressed). Now, however, I use this oil, and only this oil, every single day. I LOVE IT. The scent is light and slightly exotic thanks to the sesame, but never overpowering, never cloying. I never ever get sick of it, and when I hang my towel up after getting dressed and get a whiff of the scent, I smile involuntarily. That's how lovely it is. It never mingles with your perfume either. Just make sure to apply when your skin is still pretty damp. I just lightly pat my skin after showering or bathing and then apply the oil very promptly. One thing I've found though is that after shaving your legs, apply a second time after your skin is fully dry, and that will keep moisture on your gams.



3. It's Always Sunny in Philedelphia

Oh, man. Okay, look, I know that humor is subjective, and perverse, shameless humor like this is VERY subjective, but my God this is some of the funniest shit I have ever watched in my life. Just when you're fairly certain they won't go there, they go there, balls out (Dee Dates A Retard is an actual episode title). It's kind of like Seinfeld in which no one is truly likeable, they're all horrible people, and they all seem to hate each other deep down, so even for me this show is best in smaller doses (I could, however, do an hours-long marathon of How I Met Your Mother). It's like a super rich sinful dessert, and nothing caps off a night of mild mannered television like a show where in order to stay on welfare, Dee and her brother Dennis actively choose to get hooked on crack.



4. Mussels!!

Or moules au vin blanc, which is my absolute favorite way to make them. Nothing compares to a big bowl of these delicious critters, steamed in wine, shallots and garlic. They're also insanely quick and easy to make for a romantic dinner for two:

3.5lb mussels, scrubbed and de-bearded (absolutely crucial to the flavor)
1 cup wine
3 shallots, finely chopped
1 Turkish bay leaf
1 tsp dried thyme
4 cloves garlic, roughly chopped
1/4 cup fresh parsley, finely chopped
3 tbsp butter

Bring wine to a boil in a six quart pot and let simmer a few minutes. Add your mussels, put the top on your pot and let them steam for about five minutes. Give the pot a good shake to redistribute the mussels, and then open up and give them a quick stir. If they're all open, they're done and should be removed promptly into large serving bowls. If they're not open, have no fear and just steam a little longer, two minutes more. After placing the moules into the bowls, add the parsley and butter to your wine and stir to melt the butter. Once that happens, turn off the heat, pour the delicious broth over the moules (making sure to spoon up all those delicious shallots and garlic pieces), and serve with crusty bread and a couple of glasses of the same wine you used to steam them.

An added bonus: you don't need utensils. Just use the shell of one mussel like mini tongs and pluck the meat from another mussel.

SO GOOD. Todd is always mildly reluctant when I start clamouring for these, and every single time I serve them he's like, damn, these are so good. We had them Saturday and we're sitting there, happily digging into our bowls, and Todd just goes "Well, you and your lousy moules! These are delicious!" and proceeded to devour the entire bowl.



5. Trader Joe's Block Red Wine

A friend of mine turned me on to this wine because she knows how much I love wine that comes in box form. But this wine is so much more than that. I mean, yes, it is box of wine, and yes it's only $10 which is actually cheaper than the Corbett Canyon box of wine I buy whenever I want pinot grigio. But it's actually a super decent wine. The reason I know this is because A: I drink a lot of wine and can tell and B: Todd, who gave up his wino status long ago after it started kicking his ass, will actually have a glass or three of this with his steak dinner. He does not do that unless it's pretty damn good, so that's why I'm here to tell you that this wine is pretty damn good, only costs you $10 and comes in a cool looking box.

What's not to love?



6. Freesia!

Another delight thanks to Trader Joe's. I've never before gotten freesia until this spring, and my goodness, now I understand why every other lotion in Bath and Body Works is freesia. They're poor attempts at harnessing the light and delicate fragrance of this flower, though. I was absolutely blown away when I got the first batch; it took a couple of days but suddenly every time I'd walk by the vase of flowers on the table, I would be overcome by this teasing, barely there floral scent that is just divine. It reminds me of a far milder version of a magnolia blossom. Anyways, this shade of the freesia flower is what I'm currently hosting at my house, and I just love it. I always get sad when Trader Joe's is out of them; my heart sinks just a bit when I realize they're nowhere to be found. Next time you find yourself with an opportunity to get some freesia, I strongly recommend you take it.



7. Kingdom Rush

So I'm a little embarrassed to be raving over a game app on my smartphone but I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF. Plus, again I refer to Todd's enthusiasm as an accurate measure for levels of awesomeness: He was more than happy to watch me play Plants vs. Zombies, but is all too eager to play Kingdom Rush for himself. Last night we had to take turns for God's sake, each playing a battle before reluctantly handing it off to the other person.

It's right up our alley, with knights and archers and mages and artillery, tools and weapons to help boost your fighting power, heroes and fireballs falling from the sky, trolls and wulfs and ogres and shamans and all kinds of cool shit that you're trying to kill in the name of the king. Have at you! Attack! Reinforce!! YAAARRRRRGH.

Plus this shit is free.



8. The Darling Strumpet by Gillian Bagwell

Part historical novel, part bodice ripper, this is a 17th century story about one of England's very first actresses, Nell Gwyn. I've gotten about halfway through and what I'm loving so far, apart from some very blushworthy scenes (she started off a prostitute after all, at least in Bagwell's novel), are the historical moments that are brought to life, such as the great fire that took place in the city of London during her lifetime, as well as The Great Plague. I also love the language used to illustrate the time period, and of course I love Nell's brazen wit and her strength and courage to not only become an actress but to simply survive.

And I just love a good historical novel. I love learning about real people who lived so long ago. Thanks to the author's diligent research, I'm able to see into the past, and especially for women in history, this is such a treat.

Plus those love scenes! Whew!!

Rosemary-Orange Pork Tenderloin with Marmalade Sauce

I made this last night and man, was it delicious! I highly recommend giving it a shot. Quick, easy, elegant. I took two recipes and combined them, then altered the hybrid, then changed it last minute, so I am happy to say this is 100% me.

Rosemary-Orange Pork Tenderloin with Marmalade Sauce
serves 4

1 1.5lb pork tenderloin
4-5 sprigs rosemary
Zest of one orange
Salt and pepper to taste
1/2 cup Seville orange marmalade
2 tbsp fresh lime juice

Preheat oven to 375. Let your pork sit out while it preheats, too. Line a roasting pan with foil.

Strip your rosemary sprigs and roughly chop up the leaves. Toss together the rosemary, orange, salt and pepper. Rub the mixture into the pork and place the pork in a roasting pan. Drizzle olive oil on the meat and rub that in as well.

Roast for 30-40 minutes until pork is cooked through. Remove the foil but return the pork and juices back to the roasting pan. Place the roasting pan on your largest stovetop burner and turn the heat up to about medium, medium high.

Whisk together the marmalade and lime juice, and add it to the juices. See, originally it was to be a marmalade glaze, but when I saw (and smelled) those mouth-watering juices, I could not just dump them out, so I incorporated them. Stir the sauce quickly and turn the pork to coat it.

When the sauce is bubbling away, it's time to eat. Remove the tenderloin, slice it up and serve. Pour the sauce into a bowl or gravy boat and apply liberally to the yummy pork.

Enjoy! I don't have any pictures because it went that fast.

Broccoli Salad

I guess there is a reason why chefs and food photographers wipe the sides of the plates and bowls before presentation, huh. Anyhoodle, I came up with this on the fly two days ago while trying to find a filling, yet flavorful and satisfying snack. I've been really trying to watch my calorie intake, which is always a lot easier, in my opinion, in the summer. Fresh veggies are everywhere, it's warmer outside which lends itself to naturally eating lighter, and the word salad just sounds so refreshing. Talk to me about salad in winter and I'm going to hit you over the head with a soup ladle and continue to gnaw on a ham bone. But for now, salad salad salads!

This bad boy rings in around 115 calories, if you aren't counting the calories from the onion. Since a full cup of red onion has 48 calories, I am not bothering to figure out what three slices are. I like to live life on the wild side. I am the Hunter S. Thompson of calorie counting.
Broccoli Salad
single serving

3oz broccoli florets, cut into bite size pieces
Sliced red onion, to taste (I do about 3 thin slices off half an onion)
1 tsp olive oil
1 tsp balsamic vinegar
2 tbsp blue cheese crumbles
black pepper, to taste

Toss the first two ingredients with the next two, and top with blue cheese and black pepper. Stir around. Devour!

The first time I made this with shredded parmesan but I have to say, the blue cheese really adds a rich dimension to it and I'll not go back. And you know how much I love parmesan. Just so long as this salad doesn't dip too aggressively into my blue cheese stash. Those martini olives aren't going to stuff themselves with air, are they.

Coconut Curry Salmon with Cilantro-Scallion Peas

No photos, sorry, but I made this last night and it took probably 20 minutes, start to finish. Couple that with the delicious, mild flavors that were just exotic enough to spice up a weekend but not so exotic that you feel like you need your malaria shot beforehand.

By the way even if you choose to eat 8oz portions as we do, and up the serving of peas to 1 cup a person, this recipe is still less than 600 calories.

Coconut Curry Salmon with Cilantro-Scallion Peas
serves 2

2 salmon fillets, boneless, skinless (we prefer the 8oz portions you can find at Trader Joe's. Don't waste my time with this four ounce horseshit)
2-3 tbsp curry
1 tbsp coconut oil + 1/2 tsp, set aside
2 cups peas
1 large scallion, finely sliced
2 tbsp finely chopped cilantro
A sprinkle of garlic powder
salt to taste

Shake the curry onto both sides of your salmon, and use a rubber basting brush to evenly distribute. In a nonstick skillet, heat the tbsp of coconut oil over medium high heat.

Now, my salmon fillet was significantly wider and thinner so I started Todd's first and didn't add mine until his was already flipped over. Cooking times obviously vary, but it is far better to take the salmon off too soon rather than too late. What I focused on was getting a nice, goldenly sort of color on the salmon. The curry acted sort of like a flour coating, getting slightly, ever so slightly crisped. So delicious.

While that's happening, using a microwave safe container (we have a Pampered Chef thing for this), cook your peas in a moderate amount of water in the microwave for about 4:30 minutes. When they're done, take your 1/2 tsp of oil and stir it into the peas, doing the same afterwards with the scallions, cilantro and garlic powder. Salt it to taste and if you're so inclined (we were), squeeze a wee bit of Sriracha on the salmon.

The fish was flavored with curry but had no spice at all, so this is a dish for everyone (hi, Amber!), I promise.

Plus, come on, dinner in 20 minutes or less? Fresh salmon? Hell yeah.

Chicken and Mushrooms with Artichoke Hearts and Green Beans

Many moons ago, I found a recipe for chicken and mushrooms in white wine, and it's one of those dinners that frequently pops up on my weekly menu. It's simple, it's quick and it's delicious. The other day I wanted to add a little more to it to make it filling, without having to rely on a starch. We've been trying to keep dinners lighter, with just protein and vegetables and it is especially suitable on these warmer spring days.

So, long story short, it was obviously a hit adding the extras, because here I am, sharing it with you!

Chicken and Mushrooms with Artichoke Hearts and Green Beans
Serves 2

4-6 chicken tenderloins, depending on their size and your appetite (I am pefect with two, Todd is with three)
2 tbsp flour in a Ziploc bag
salt and pepper to taste
4 tsp butter, divided
4 tsp olive oil, divided
8oz mushrooms
8 oz green beans, parboiled 5-6 minutes and chilled
3-4 cloves garlic, minced or roughly chopped
1/4 cup white wine
1/3 cup chicken broth
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
1 14 oz can quartered artichoke hearts
2-3 tbsp shredded parmesan (optional)

Heat oven to 200. Toss each chicken tender in the Ziploc bag. If you feel real raw about wasting a Ziploc for such a brief and fleeting purpose, toss them in a bowl, but I think shaking the chicken in the bag ensures a nice even coating and doesn't require as much flour.

Place a heavy or stainless steel skillet over medium to medium high heat, and add butter and oil. Nonstick doesn't really work here, because you want some of that flour to come off on the pan, to help thicken the broth and wine you'll be adding later.

Add your chicken, salt and pepper them, and cook until golden and slightly crisped in places. Mmmmm. Remove from heat and keep warm in oven.

Add the rest of the butter and oil. Now let me stop you here, like Kanye West. Imma let you finish, but I just wanted to say that I personally don't measure out my oil and butter, I eyeball how slicked over the pan is. But the recipe was originally intended to be healthy, so by all means, whip out the measuring spoons.

Add your mushrooms and once they're starting to sweat, add your green beans. Cook for a few minutes to let the beans heat through, and then add your wine, broth and parsley. By the way? I made this last night but didn't have wine so I just used more chicken broth, and there was definitely a lack of flavor. If you don't have any wine, try anything for an added kick. White wine vinegar might even do the trick, just add small increments at a time so you don't overpower it.

Once the sauce has reduced significantly, add your artichoke hearts and heat through. Plate up the veggies and sauce, top with warmed chicken and sprinkle with parmesan if you so desire.

Voila! Even including the parboiling time, this is such a quick and snappy meal that has a sort of understated, leisurely sort of elegance about it. Can you believe I just wrote that about food?

How to plan the hell out of the week's menus.

So look, okay, I do some things amazingly well and some things I just don't even do. I sit there with a martini in my hand like the mom from Arrested Development (she's the mom, right?) and laugh and go okay, no, that is what calculators and Google are for okay?

Oh wow, I totally forgot tonight is martini night. Drool.

But one thing I really enjoy doing, and it's something that I think I do very well, is my weekly menu planning and the subsequent grocery shopping. And feminists everywhere just hung their heads in collective shame that the triathlon-completing, BA-wielding, poetry-published/would-be novelist just said that she really enjoys grocery shopping and planning menus.

IT'S MY CHOICE! I CHOOSE MY CHOICE!! (name that TV show!)

I keep a notebook in my purse for to-do lists, the occasional stroke of literary genius, work out plans, calorie counting, movies we need to Netflix, songs I need to download on iTunes and lastly, but most importantly, my menus for the following week. Let's just say that if I don't have this notebook with me at all times I literally start to feel anxious.

So, every Friday I sit down and open my notebook. I think about what we've had recently that was good and needs to be repeated and then I either hit up Pinterest or, if I'm home, my tried and true box of recipes for inspiration.

Everyone does that, Jil, you say. Stop patting yourself on the back like you're the Einstein of groceries.

But wait, that's not all!

Because before that I will, and cue laughter from my 3.75 readers, actually go online and check the weather report for next week.

<crickets>

No, I am serious! Why would I want to slave for over an hour making coq au vin, though I haven't had it in AGES and it's so delicious, when it's going to be 95 degrees that day, and by "that day" I mean, the high occurs about two hours before I start cooking? My kitchen is on the western half of the house, people, in the desert. WHO DESIGNED THIS HELL HOLE KITCHEN.

Anyways. I check the weather. If there's going to be a dip in temperature, hello crockpot! Hello dutch oven! Bitches be making soups and stews up in this hell hole kitchen! If it's going to be hotter than, um, hell I guess, I start thinking back to more summery, colorful dishes that are crisp-flavored and not stick-to-your-ribs rich. Who wants to feel greasy when it's close to 100 outside?

So, yeah. I pull up the weather app, check it out, and then get to work. Once my menus are done, this is the end result:

Can you tell that I actually used to really love taking notes in my college courses? Can you also tell that I am left handed? Hey there, smudgy!


Here's some other factors that come into my planning:

1. My oven sucks so I have to do either one dish meals in the oven or a skillet, or one goes on top, the other below. I don't have convection. :(
2. Longer lasting veggies (hi broccoli) are held off til at least Wednesday. Ones that go bad quicker (hey green bean) must be eaten by Wednesday.
3. At least one dinner with seafood, usually salmon, and at least one dinner with beef. Sometimes I sub out beef with pork.
4. I often buy a pound each of two different veggie types, to simplify the grocery list, and resort to using Trader Joe's frozen vegetables for one meal. It makes it easier.
5. Make Thursday night's meal a bit heartier because Todd teaches a two hour kung fu/tech class that wipes him out.

It sounds weird, and OCD, but I find it to be fun, like putting together a puzzle. Speaking of puzzles, the next part I enjoy is writing out the grocery lists.

I go to two stores, Trader Joe's and Fry's, on a weekly basis. I gather my recipes or pull items from memory for what I'll need to buy and what I already have at home. Then, my favorite part is writing down my list according to the section of the store in which I will find it. So, I start in cheese and produce at Trader Joe's, move on to dairy, etc etc. At Fry's I start at dairy, then frozen, then meat, etc until I end up at produce. And that's how my lists flow.

More fun south paw facts: I write on the backs of the pages in my notebooks to avoid the spiral. Even though I go to Trader Joe's before Fry's, I write the TJ list first, on the right side, to avoid smudging the Fry's list, even though I already smudge it as I write it (you can see the smudges get progressively worse until I wipe my hand on my jeans in disgust). MY LEFTY LIFE IS SO HARD.

I've found that if I don't write my lists according to where they are in the store, I will always, ALWAYS forget something, so if I have written my whole list, but realize I forgot coffee, I'll more than likely re-write the whole damn thing because, and believe me I've tried, no amount of arrows, asterisks or underscoring will make me look at the bottom of the page when I'm in aisle 10 and still in the middle of my list.

So, it all sounds extremely psychotic, maybe, but I've found that doing it this tight-shipped helps me in a couple of areas:

We rarely throw out food, unless I bought some random exotic ingredient for a single dish and it languishes in the back of the fridge for weeks. On Friday, or even worse, Saturday mornings, our fridge is a barren landscape of condiments, Brita water pitcher, half a bunch of parsley and some leftover caffeine free sodas. It gets devoured.

If I'm feeling wishy-washy or tired or lazy, too bad so sad. The biggest cheat I can do, without wasting a meal's worth of ingredients, is to switch it out with an easier night's cooking load. The food's there, and it has to be used up, so get crackin', smudgy!

Um, so yeah. This is how involved I get when it comes to my food. Hey, I love cooking, and I love cooking for folks I love, so this is an important ritual in my week. Plus it's nice to know what I have to look forward to, food-wise. What?! I do NOT use food as a reward. Wait, what? We're having steak and chicken kabobs tomorrow? On the grill? WATCH ME WAG MY TAIL.

Parmesan-Panko Zucchini Fries

So! We had these with our burgers last night and my goodness they were tasty. My only problem was that I should have salted the zucchini before breading them. The recipe I had used did actually suggest salting both the flour and the egg. So that's what I am going to do next time.

Parmesan-Panko Zucchini Fries

3 zucchinis, trimmed
1/4 cup flour
salt and pepper, to taste
2 eggs, beaten
Panko breadcrumbs
About 3/4 cup Parmesan
2 tbsp dill
olive oil spray

Preheat oven to 425 (my oven runs hot so I did 400) and position a rack to the center of the oven. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper and set aside. In a big bowl, add the flour, a generous amount of salt and a bit of pepper. In another bowl, put your beaten eggs and in another bowl, put the Parmesan, Panko and dill and mix thoroughly.

Cut the zucchinis crosswise in the middle and cut each half into eight wedge sticks. Add all the zucchini sticks to the big bowl with flour, and toss around to make sure each is coated. Shake off excess flour and dip your zucchini fries into the egg, then roll in the Panko-Parmesan mixture.

Line the fries up as shown in the photo, spray with the olive oil spray and bake for 15 minutes. To ensure even cooking, at the 15 minute mark turn your pan around and cook another 10 - 12 minutes (again, my oven runs hot so they were done at 10 minutes).

Enjoy!