Israeli Couscous with Chicken and Peas

So I've been absent from the old bloggy blog for awhile now, thanks to a long overdue and much needed vacation. We stayed with Todd's uncle and aunt in San Diego for just over a week, and my God, it was heaven.

I drank hot tea each morning, whilst wearing a sweater and slippers, but by the afternoons we were enjoying the beach, swimming in the surf one at a time while the other stayed and played with Alex in the sand. We visited Old Town, OB, had a bonfire dinner on Shelter Island, and not once did we get mired in horrible traffic (miraculous, let me tell you).

We went to restaurants, Balboa park, and only had one miserable day thanks to the horrors of a busy day at San Diego Zoo. Remember my plantar fasciitis? Yeah, well, it's going to remember San Diego Zoo for the rest of its life (which I hope isn't long). We sat outside every night, where the temperature + wind chill made it feel more deliciously chilly than anything Tucson has to offer, even in the dead of "winter." Sweaters were worn again, people. In August. It was... perfect.

Anyways, now we're home and sneezing and achy with allergies, and I wake up with bloody noses every morning. Hurray, desert! Well Jil, what the fuck does this have to do with couscous? Well, I'll tell you, faithful reader, I'll tell you. Having enjoyed all that cool weather, it made me crave a cool weather dish. I didn't realize it, either, until I tasted dinner last night.

This meal sounds light and summery thanks to the lemon and the scallions, but the richness of the broth that soaks into the couscous, and the heartiness of the chopped chicken and peas makes it extremely comforting, filling and is somewhat reminiscent of a chicken pot pie, or a chicken noodle soup. Even better, it rained last night, which washed away some of the heat and reminded us, ever so slightly, of those cold nights in San Diego.

Enough already! I got this recipe from A Family Feast but made a few changes here and there.

Israeli Couscous with Chicken and Peas
serves two

5 chicken tenders
EVOO (I feel sort of sleazy typing that out)
Salt and pepper to taste
Garlic powder to taste
2 cup chicken broth (I use no sodium bouillon powder)
Zest of one lemon
Juice of one lemon
1 tsp coarse sea salt
1 tsp cracked black pepper
1.5 cup Israeli (also known as pearl) couscous
2 scallions, thinly sliced, both white and green parts
1 cup frozen peas, thawed under hot water
1/2 cup shredded parmesan, plus extra

Heat a drizzle of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Season your chicken with the garlic powder and salt and pepper. Cook chicken until just done, dice it up and add it back to the skillet, setting it aside. I did this about thirty minutes before cooking the rest thanks to Alex refusing to go to bed.

Combine the broth, zest and lemon juice, plus the salt and pepper and set aside. In a large saucepan, heat another drizzle of the olive oil over medium high and add the couscous, toasting lightly for 2-3 as you stir frequently so it won't burn. Next, add the broth combo and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium low and cover, simmering for about 8-10 minutes until couscous is al dente.

You'll want remaining liquid in the pan, so use that as your guide, too. Now, add your scallions, peas and chicken, plus the 1/2 cup parmesan and stir until it's all mixed up (I have a 311 song stuck in my head now). Sprinkle with extra parmesan, if you so desire (you will) and enjoy!

I do want to add that I usually love to absolutely cover my dish in parmesan. But I will say to those who avoid dairy (I'm looking at you, Kat), the creaminess of the couscous and broth, the richness of everything, is divine. The cheese is just a little bonus, but by no means will this dish lack in flavor if you skip it.

Now, if it were only 65 degrees with a whipsmart wind coming off the sea right outside my window.

Broccoli Salad

I guess there is a reason why chefs and food photographers wipe the sides of the plates and bowls before presentation, huh. Anyhoodle, I came up with this on the fly two days ago while trying to find a filling, yet flavorful and satisfying snack. I've been really trying to watch my calorie intake, which is always a lot easier, in my opinion, in the summer. Fresh veggies are everywhere, it's warmer outside which lends itself to naturally eating lighter, and the word salad just sounds so refreshing. Talk to me about salad in winter and I'm going to hit you over the head with a soup ladle and continue to gnaw on a ham bone. But for now, salad salad salads!

This bad boy rings in around 115 calories, if you aren't counting the calories from the onion. Since a full cup of red onion has 48 calories, I am not bothering to figure out what three slices are. I like to live life on the wild side. I am the Hunter S. Thompson of calorie counting.
Broccoli Salad
single serving

3oz broccoli florets, cut into bite size pieces
Sliced red onion, to taste (I do about 3 thin slices off half an onion)
1 tsp olive oil
1 tsp balsamic vinegar
2 tbsp blue cheese crumbles
black pepper, to taste

Toss the first two ingredients with the next two, and top with blue cheese and black pepper. Stir around. Devour!

The first time I made this with shredded parmesan but I have to say, the blue cheese really adds a rich dimension to it and I'll not go back. And you know how much I love parmesan. Just so long as this salad doesn't dip too aggressively into my blue cheese stash. Those martini olives aren't going to stuff themselves with air, are they.

Chicken and Mushrooms with Artichoke Hearts and Green Beans

Many moons ago, I found a recipe for chicken and mushrooms in white wine, and it's one of those dinners that frequently pops up on my weekly menu. It's simple, it's quick and it's delicious. The other day I wanted to add a little more to it to make it filling, without having to rely on a starch. We've been trying to keep dinners lighter, with just protein and vegetables and it is especially suitable on these warmer spring days.

So, long story short, it was obviously a hit adding the extras, because here I am, sharing it with you!

Chicken and Mushrooms with Artichoke Hearts and Green Beans
Serves 2

4-6 chicken tenderloins, depending on their size and your appetite (I am pefect with two, Todd is with three)
2 tbsp flour in a Ziploc bag
salt and pepper to taste
4 tsp butter, divided
4 tsp olive oil, divided
8oz mushrooms
8 oz green beans, parboiled 5-6 minutes and chilled
3-4 cloves garlic, minced or roughly chopped
1/4 cup white wine
1/3 cup chicken broth
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
1 14 oz can quartered artichoke hearts
2-3 tbsp shredded parmesan (optional)

Heat oven to 200. Toss each chicken tender in the Ziploc bag. If you feel real raw about wasting a Ziploc for such a brief and fleeting purpose, toss them in a bowl, but I think shaking the chicken in the bag ensures a nice even coating and doesn't require as much flour.

Place a heavy or stainless steel skillet over medium to medium high heat, and add butter and oil. Nonstick doesn't really work here, because you want some of that flour to come off on the pan, to help thicken the broth and wine you'll be adding later.

Add your chicken, salt and pepper them, and cook until golden and slightly crisped in places. Mmmmm. Remove from heat and keep warm in oven.

Add the rest of the butter and oil. Now let me stop you here, like Kanye West. Imma let you finish, but I just wanted to say that I personally don't measure out my oil and butter, I eyeball how slicked over the pan is. But the recipe was originally intended to be healthy, so by all means, whip out the measuring spoons.

Add your mushrooms and once they're starting to sweat, add your green beans. Cook for a few minutes to let the beans heat through, and then add your wine, broth and parsley. By the way? I made this last night but didn't have wine so I just used more chicken broth, and there was definitely a lack of flavor. If you don't have any wine, try anything for an added kick. White wine vinegar might even do the trick, just add small increments at a time so you don't overpower it.

Once the sauce has reduced significantly, add your artichoke hearts and heat through. Plate up the veggies and sauce, top with warmed chicken and sprinkle with parmesan if you so desire.

Voila! Even including the parboiling time, this is such a quick and snappy meal that has a sort of understated, leisurely sort of elegance about it. Can you believe I just wrote that about food?

Corned Beef with Cabbage and Potatoes

Welp, after two years of using this particular recipe from Cook's Illustrated, and after two years of very positive feedback each time I make it (after all it's not just for St. Patrick's Day), I have decided to post the recipe here. I strongly urge all corned beef fans to give it a try. Like, do it!

Corned Beef with Cabbage and Potatoes
serves 6 - 8

1 4-5lb corned beef brisket
4 cups low sodium chicken broth
4 cups water
3 carrots, chopped
1 onion, peeled and quartered
1 tbsp peppercorns
1 tsp whole allspice
3 bay leaves
1 tsp dried thyme (or 1 tbsp minced fresh)
3 tbsp butter
1.5lb small red potatoes
9 carrots, halved crosswise
1 head cabbage, cut into 8 2" wedges
Salt and pepper to taste


Can you believe I wrote that ingredient list out from memory? Like I don't even have the recipe in front of me. GOD JIL YOU ARE TOO COOL.

Preheat oven to 300. In a Dutch oven (my 5 quart just baaaarely housed all the ingredients), combine the brisket, broth and water, chopped carrots, onion, spices and bay leaves. Cover and place in the oven to cook for 4.5 - 5 hours, until a fork can slip easily in and out of the meat. Try not to salivate at that point (impossible).

Remove meat and place in a 9x13 casserole dish. Strain liquid through a fine mesh strainer into a large bowl, and discard the veggies. Pour one cup of cooking liquid over meat and cover tightly with foil. Return the rest of the liquid to your Dutch oven and bring to a low boil. Add your potatoes and simmer for about 10-15 minutes until they're tender. Now, add your halved carrots and cabbage on top of the potatoes, cover and cook for an additional 15 minutes. You want to make sure that any outer cabbage leaves are easily pierced by a fork.

Plate veggies on a large serving dish. Starting at a corner of the brisket, slice the beef, cutting against the grain. Nestle the meat on top of the vegetables and season with pepper and salt, if you so desire.

DEVOUR! This stuff is SO, SO good Todd will request it on random weekends. Like, wifey, for the love of God please make that corned beef.

I really hope you give this version a try. Don't wait til next St. Patrick's Day, either.

Coconut Curry Shrimp with Quinoa

Holy shit we had a carb for dinner! And you want to know something spooky and blood curdling? I could have had this dinner without the quinoa. It was nice but, you know, not necessary. I sort of wish I had used zucchini noodles or something. But let me stop bragging and give you the nitty gritty.

Coconut Curry Shrimp with Quinoa
serves two

2 tbsp coconut oil, divided
1 cup almond milk
1 lb jumbo shrimp, 16 - 25 count (doesn't it make you mad that they call them jumbo, when there could still be 25 to a pound?)
Curry powder
1/2 cup quinoa, washed and drained
Dehydrated ginger
Chicken bouillon powder
1 cup chopped red, yellow and/or orange bell pepper
1/2 onion, chopped
1 cup frozen broccoli florets
Garlic powder
1 large lime wedge
1/4 cup cilantro, chopped


So I'm really proud to announce that I sort of made this up. I didn't have coconut milk plus HOLY CALORIES BATMAN, so I took the rest of my almond milk, which is so delicious and high in calcium but quite low in calories, and added coconut milk. Presto! A delicious, sumptuous milk.

Anyways.

Take one tbsp of your coconut milk and melt it in the microwave. I just scooped it out into a ramekin. It won't take long either, since coconut oil will melt in your hands if you're, say, tossing veggies with it. Next, add it to your almond milk and set aside.

Peel and rinse your shrimp and set them out on a paper towel to dry. Season them liberally with curry powder.

Now, cook your quinoa according to package directions AKA one part quinoa, two parts water, boil that shit, then simmer that shit til the liquid's gone. I added my ginger to the quinoa for an extra punch. I also added a dash of no sodium bouillon powder for some flavor.

Next up, heat the remaining tbsp of coconut oil to a large skillet and once it's piping, toss in your shrimp. When they're opaque on both sides, add all of your veggies and some garlic powder. Toss frequently (hey man it's a stir fry, there is a verb in that title, get to work).

Add your almond coconut milk and let the liquid cook down a bit. By the time your shrimp have firmed up a little more, the quinoa should be done. Keep the good stuff in the skillet warm and dish the quinoa into two bowls. Top with the awesomeness, and then top THAT with a squeeze of lime and the cilantro.

Ta-daaaa! I really feel like my cooking horizons have sort of opened up now that I've officially worked with coconut oil for a dinner dish, and not just those half assed parsnip chips I attempted last week. I highly recommend getting coconut oil and keeping it around for dishes such as these. I was inspired, for sure.

Enjoy!

WHAT THE HELL LASAGNA

I just ate carbless lasagna for dinner last night! Well, by carbless, I mean, no pasta. There are bound to be carbs in a tomato based sauce but it's definitely healthier than just pasta.

The trick is using grain-free "tortillas" which are essentially crepes. I got a little bitchy in my comments on her site, but the person behind Against All Grain is the creator of those crepes, which can be found here, and despite my aforementioned bitchiness, I will say that these worked and were excellent in my lasagna last night. That lasagna recipe can be found here, but I'm re-posting it because I did make some changes.

For one thing, cooked spinach grosses me right the fuck out, so where she had 2 cups spinach just sauteed, I'd change that to 2 cups chopped up spinach so nowhere do I experience a nasty limp and slimy leaf sitting on my tongue all by itself. NO THANK YOU. Plus do you know how easy it is to spread a measley two cups of sauteed spinach over multiple layers of ricotta-smeared delicate crepes? NOT EASY AT ALL thank you very much.


No Pasta Lasagna!
serves 4 - 6

10 of those crazy ass crepes, cut in half lengthwise
1 lb Trader Joe's Sicilian style chicken sausage, casings removed
2 cups ricotta (I used low fat and thusly had to add some almond milk to thin it out)
1 tsp basil
1 tsp oregano
salt and pepper
2 cups baby spinach, finely chopped
1 jar pasta sauce or marinara
8oz mozzarella shreds
Parmesan for sprinkling

So, if you're like me you're going to start off your night basically ignoring your toddler because GODDAMMIT you WILL make a fucking flourless crepe if your life depends on it. It will take two batches, four skillets and two glasses of white wine, but you finally accomplish your goal. Your child is unimpressed.

Preheat your oven to 375 and just you TRY to wipe that smug look off your face just because you produced 10 carbless crepes when you have never before made even a regular crepe in your LIFE.

Next, cook up your sausage using the last skillet that finally worked in your crepe endeavor, breaking it up into delicious crumbles. Drain on a paper-towel-lined plate.

Mix your ricotta and herbs and spices together.

Now, grease an 8x11 pyrex (I measured mine by taking a sheet of paper out of our printer and laying it in there. Did I ever tell you I have a degree in brains?) and drop a good couple of tablespoons of sauce in there, spreading it with a basting brush or whatever the hell you want. Can you tell I'm still feeling hostile about those crepes? You will too!

Place your crepes in there like noodles, and make sure to slightly overlap them so the filling doesn't seep through and shatter your delicate, carbless facade. Now, shmear on some ricotta, and yes, it's sort of a careful procedure. Just pour another glass out of that box you have on your counter and carry on.

Next, sprinkle some chopped spinach over that. Then, add some of the sausage. Then, sprinkle with mozzarella. And now some sauce! Use that basting brush, people! Then, add more crepes. GENIUS.

Repeat until you left with nothing but box of wine.

Pop that fucker in the oven for 25 - 30 minutes until it comes out looking like this badass:

EAT. MARVEL. REJOICE! Now, this was damn close to real lasagna. It tastes a wee bit dry and I'm betting that was more to do with my shitty low fat ricotta than anything else. This was awesome! It had me and my tastebuds fooled, Todd was over the moon with delight because that man loves the hell out of lasagna, and he was even saying crazy shit like restaurants need to have this as a healthier alternative. Wowzer!

Enjoy, folks! And if you want tips on those goddamn crepes, just let me know.

Rosemary Roast Chicken with Sweet Potatoes and Shallots

I think that ever since I started doing Paleo, every post I've written has had something to do with that temporary lifestyle change, and today is no different. However! Aside from the brief mention that walking by a display of blueberry muffins eventually led to an emotional breakdown, this post is going to be a POSITIVE Paleo post! The shock! The novelty!

Rosemary Roast Chicken with Sweet Potatoes and Shallots
serves two

4 medium sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into large chunks (think 4 chunks per spud)
4 shallots, cut into halves
6 small sprigs fresh rosemary
3 tbsp olive oil, divided
2 chicken leg quarters, skinned, thighs and drummies separated
1 tsp Herbes de Provence
Salt and pepper to taste
1 - 2 cups finely chopped kale, evil stems removed
Drizzle of olive oil
Garlic powder
2 strips crispy-cooked bacon, crumbled

Preheat your oven to 375.

I'm tempted to just scream TOSS ALL THAT SHIT TOGETHER NOW regarding the first five ingredients, but I actually tossed the veggies and 2 tbsp olive oil together, deposited them in the pyrex, and then tossed the chicken pieces and remaining oil separately because the bowl I used wasn't large enough.

After you artfully arrange your meat and veg (I sound so British), sprinkle with the herbes de provence and salt and pepper and toss it into the oven because you're a caveman and you haven't had soft cheese or bread in six days (only!) and you feel like beating the shit out of something so it might as well be your oven.

Roast for about 40 minutes. Remove set aside. Toss the kale in that drizzle of olive oil and a shake or two of garlic powder. Arrange on a cookie sheet, shaking the sheet to make sure the kale is spread out enough. Bake for 10 minutes or so until crispy.

Plate your food, sprinkle with the kale and bacon, and devour, rending the tender, juicy flesh off of every bone you can get your carb-deprived fingers on. Hurrah!

I need to say that aside from that kale chip endeavor, I've never enjoyed kale. I don't know if I even enjoyed the kale chips since I kept the evil stems on like a noob. But THIS meal, holy shit! I LOVED the kale. Getting the pieces small enough and removing anything that remotely resembled a stem, the garlic powder, plus a wee bit of extra salt, all culminated into converting me into a kale fan. True, there are perameters to that conversion, BUT STILL. I feel so grown up. I like brussels sprouts now, and kale, and what's next? Free form jazz?

German Beer Stew with Sausage, Cabbage & Onion

Um, sooo yeah. This stew was so freaking good I could not stop going back to the pot for bites. I got it off Pinterest (GO FIGURE) and it was originally posted on The Cozy Apron in this here post: Oktoberfest Lager Stew. I want to post you to this place because this is where this here photo comes from and I want to offer credit where it's due.

I don't call mine Oktoberfest stew because I didn't use that type of beer. So actually I guess this should be called Fat Tire Stew. But gross! That doesn't appeal to me in any way and I know how delicious that beer tastes. Hey girl. Come over here. Here. Eat this stew. It's called Fat Tire. Hey girl, where you going? I didn't mean it would make you into a fat tire! Stop crying! Oh my God, are you calling your mom? No, I don't want to talk to her! I didn't do anything wrong.



Uh, let's get to the soup.

German Beer Stew with Sausage, Cabbage and Onion

serves four

1 tbsp olive oil

4 links smoked beef sausage, cut into bite size pieces

1 onion, cut in half and sliced thin

1/2 head cabbage, halved again, cored and cut into thin slices

1/2 tsp fresh black pepper

1/4 tsp ground caraway seeds (I didn't have this, so I used cumin with dill)

salt to taste

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 cup German style beer (I used Fat Tire upon Todd's recommendation and he knows beer)

2 russet potatoes, peeled and diced into small bite size pieces

2.5 cups hot chicken stock (I used salt free boullion powder)

1.5 tbsp apple cider vinegar

3 tbsp snipped fresh parsley

Oh my God, oh my God this was so good. OKAY. So, heat your olive oil in a Dutch oven over medium high heat. Once it's hot, add your sausage and cook until browned, about five minutes.

Add your onions and let those carmelize a bit (another few minutes) before adding the cabbage. Toss to combine and let THAT mix cook down about for ANOTHER four or five minutes.

Now, add your pepper, caraway (or cumin/dill mix) and salt, give it a stir and toss in the garlic. Once it's fragrant, add the beer, potatoes and stock.

Bring it to a boil and then reduce heat, partly cover (to allow steam to escape) and simmer for 40 minutes. Stir in your vinegar and parsley and TRY not to kill the other people eating it so you can have it all to yourself. My God, man. It was full of stars.

Turkey, Spinach and Artichoke Heart Calzones.

Whaaaat, two food posts in a row, that hasn't happened in like a year. Not that my super short and lame Roasted Veggies post was a stellar thing of creativity and gastronomic genius, but it did taste good.

Anyways, last night's meal was specifically planned to occur the day after Second Thanksgiving, which makes us sound like hobbits. See, we forgot to steal a bunch of leftovers from Thanksgiving at my mom's, and Todd and I were craving those flavors, so Friday afternoon I got a turkey, some stuffing and potatoes.

I called/texted Kendra and Amery and before I knew it, I had roasted my first turkey (delicious, might I add), mashed up some potatoes, cooked up some delicious stuffing and had family and friends around my table by 7pm. Kendra brought an amazing fresh spin on green bean casserole (um, stand aside, cream of mushroom soup, here comes creme fraiche).

Needless to say, I knew I'd have some leftovers, so I checked my little recipe box and found the extremely tasty, extremely easy concoction you are fixing to read about. If you've got turkey leftovers, I strongly suggest this recipe. It's a fresh twist on turkey leftovers. Originally it called for a rotisserie chicken, so if you already hoovered all your turkey, use that.

Turkey, Spinach and Artichoke Heart Calzones
serves 4 - 6

3 cups turkey, chopped into bite size pieces
2 packed cups fresh baby spinach, torn up
1 can artichoke hearts, drained and chopped
1.5 cups shredded mozzarella
1 cup crumbled feta
1.4 cup fresh basil, torn up
1 (1lb) ball ready made pizza dough - $2.50 at Trader Joe's!
2 tbsp olive oil


Look how fun and kinda badass the whole operation looks!

Ok. Put rack in upper middle position in the oven and set to 450. Put turkey, spinach, artichoke hearts, cheeses and basil in a bowl and stir to combine.

Take your pizza dough and divide it into two. Roll out into 9" rounds one at a time. This will take some time and some elbow grease with a rolling pin, but in a few minutes, it will stretch out without returning to a ball shape, I promise.

Place half of the filling onto half of the dough round, leaving about an inch of dough on the outer edges. Brush water on the edges of the dough and seal it up, using a fork to crimp the edges shut. Hey, is that a kid's book on the floor there?

And I just want everyone to know I had flour on my hands when I started taking pictures, so sue me if they came out a tad blurry. Anyways, once you've done your second calzone, brush one tablespoon of olive oil on a rimmed cookie sheet. Then, brush the tops of your calzones with the second tablespoon of olive oil, cut two one inch slits on top of each calzone and pop in the oven.

The best part of this relatively easy dinner is that it only takes twenty minutes in the oven for this magic to happen.

Boom! Enjoy with red wine and the knowledge that you are indeed a total fucking badass.

Poor/Lazy Man's Cassoulet

Poor man's, lazy man's, slutty (aka easy) cassoulet. Whatever you want to call it, it is WAY easier than the previous cassoulet recipe I posted, requires fewer ingredients, takes less time and tastes just as great

Cheap and Easy Cassoulet
Serves 2

1 cup great white northern beans
4 strips bacon
3-5oz chopped carrots
1 large stalk of celery, finely chopped
1/2 large white onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, chopped fine
2 tsp dried thyme, divided
8 - 10oz white meat chicken (we used tenders), cut into large chunks
1 cup water
2 tbsp tomato paste
1/2 cup Panko crumbs
Olive oil
1/4 cup parmesan


Soak 1 cup GWN beans overnight.*

Set oven to 375. After their soak, drain them out of the old water and put them in 2 cups cold water, and set to boil. In a cast iron skillet, cook the bacon. Put the cooked slices on paper towel and set aside. Dump most of the grease in your bacon can, and then add your veggies to the skillet of grease.

Cook until soft, about 2-3 minutes, add 1 tbsp thyme and then your chicken pieces. Push aside the veg so your meat has a chance to brown. Once that's done, mix your water and tomato paste to make a sort of veggie broth. Add the tomato water stuff to the skillet until it's just barely reached the top.

Put in the oven for about 20 minutes. In the meantime, crumble your bacon as fine as you can and mix it evenly with the Panko crumbs. After the 20 minutes are up, pull out your skillet and evenly sprinkle the bacon crumb mixture on top. Drizzle the olive oil over the whole shebang, and pop back in for another 10 minutes. Sprinkle the cheese on top, plate up and enjoy!


* If you don't have the time, start boiling them a couple of hours before you want to start dinner.

Oui, oui! Cassoulet!

Maybe it was the wine, or the fact that this is a French dish, or just simply the fact that frequently these days I get all the ingredients for a relatively complex dish only to discover all the staples I thought I had, I didn't, but whilst making this dish the other day, I remembered the motto from the adorable movie, Ratatouille: "Anyone can cook!"

Which, of course, must be said in a Fronsh axont. Anyways, it's a good dish for that motto because, honestly, anyone can make it, with almost any kind of ingredients as long as you stick to some basics: beans and fowl with some sort of pork product. There are sure to be purists out there but I was comforted to know that, without sausage or even bacon, this meal can absolutely be a stunner with simply a shit load of dark meat chicken and some delicious black forest ham.

Anyways, on to the meal! If you want the ~original~ version of where I got my cassoulet recipe, saunter on over to this site here. If you want to be a kitchen warrior who, like the honey badger, just doesn't give a shit, stay right here, sweet-cheeks.

Cassoulet

serves 5-10 depending on how gluttonous your friends and family are

4oz black forest ham

2tbsp butter

2 tbsp oil

10 pieces dark meat chicken, (I had 6 drumsticks and 4 thighs because I am insane)

salt and pepper to taste

1 onion, chopped 1/2" thick

2 carrots, chopped 1/2" thick

2 stalks celery, chopped 1/2" thick

4 cloves garlic, chopped up

4 springs parsley, tied up

1 tbsp dried thyme

2 bay leaves

1 can crushed tomatoes

1/2 small can tomato paste

1lb great northern white beans, soaked 6 hours minumum, overnight maximum

water

chicken boullion

2 cups breadcrumbs, panko, or crushed up crackers because you forgot you were out of panko

1 cup parmesan

So. Preheat oven to 400. Heat up your pot to medium or a little higher, and throw in your ham to heat it up and get it all gorgeous looking and bubbly. This is the ham I used, by the way, from Costco:

                          

Remove the ham from the pot, chop up coarsely and set aside. Heat up the butter and oil together and once they're all golden and melty together, add your chicken. You will feel like you are looking down into a small round massacre site, there is so much goddamn meat:

Here are my drained beans, set aside and ready to go. I actually parboiled mine a bit, but it's not necessary. If you do, you will end up having to use a baster to suck out some of the water later and will end up squirting some of it on the wall beside your stove and it shall drip down into the unreachable depths and you will consider giving up, crying and getting drunk, but instead you perservere. I guess the moral of this tale is don't parboil your beans. Just... don't.

"Anyone can cook!"

ANYWAYS. Now that your chicken is browned, add the ham back to it (see that pretty chopped up ham bit just left of 6 o'clock in the picture below?), and add your veggies and herbs. Toss around a bit, cooking down for about 5-10 minutes.

Add your tomatoes and tomato paste. Now it REALLY looks like a massacre in there!

Let that cook down a bit too. Now, over at the Amateur Gourmet, he just filled the pot with water, but I added chicken boullion powder to mine. See, it looks like someone peed in the pool:

Why do I continue to use such disgusting imagery in a food post? I don't know. Sorry, mom.  So, fill your pot until the water/broth/whatever covers the beans. Thanks to all my chicken, doing this made the pot insanely full, and I nearly had a heart attack.

Luckily for me, I had this to calm me down.

Bring all that stuff to a boil, then cover and put in the oven for about an hour. Remove it from the oven, throw your bread crumbs/panko/crushed up crackers because you forgot you were out of panko and drizzle with olive oil. You're supposed to drizzle melted butter over it but the previously used 4tbsp of fat made me opt for the more heart healthy version, plus who can fucking tell?

"I can fucking tell," whisper about 3578948 angry people. Haha yeah right! If I had 3578948 people reading this blog I would have earned WAY more than three dollars and seventy cents by now.

Okay, so put it back in the oven for about 15 more minutes. Apologize to your family that you will be eating around 9pm because for some reason in your head cassoulet takes 45 minutes to make instead of over 90 minutes. Remember, suddenly, that you're thinking of coq au vin, not cassoulet. Pour another glass of red wine.

Now, once you pull that bad boy out, cover with parmesan cheese, because that will make up for not using butter before, fat-content-wise.

Pop back in for another 5 minutes. Remove, give it a good stir and voila!

Dish up and devour!

"Anyone can cook!"

Super, Simple, Scrumptious.

Last week I was sick and tired of eating at 9pm so I figured I'd do something super simple. And I did! It was delicious and so I want to share it with you.

Tex Mex Casserole

serves 4-6

1 cup cooked Basmati rice

1 can corn

1 can black beans, drained and rinsed

1lb uncooked chicken, diced

2 tbsp butter

2 tbsp flour

1 cup chicken broth

1/3 cup milk

chili powder to taste

garlic powder to taste

cumin to taste

2 - 3 roma tomatoes, diced

1/2 cup chopped cilantro

8oz shredded cheddar (::evil laugh::)

Set oven to 375. Add the first four ingredients to a casserole dish and stir to mix it up evenly. Set aside. 

In a small saucepan, melt your butter and once it's turned to liquid gold, whisk in flour. 

Once it's made a paste, add your chicken broth, stirring to mix the roux with the broth. Add your spice trio. 

Cook until thickened and bubbly and then add milk. 

Pour the sauce evenly over the stuff in the casserole dish.  Stir to saturate. 

Top with the tomatoes and cilantro and then, with that deep, dark sin, 880 calories worth of shredded cheddar. 

Pop in the oven for 20 - 30 minutes.

I SAID HELL YEAH

Who's the Hamburger Helper now, little glove man?

Not sure if you recall, but recently we adopted a kitten, Bingley. That night we didn't eat until 9pm due to the extra dose of chaos that is a kitten. But if I hadn't realized how long a chicken and rice casserole takes to cook, we would have been eating closer to 10pm. Instead of that dish, I hastily whipped up a homemade version of Hamburger Helper. 

Once I realized how easy it is (and how much more healthful it is since you control sodium content and there are like no preservatives), I knew I wanted to share. Instead of a tube of ground beef, I used frozen hamburger patties we had. And instead of nasty packaged processed-foods powdered sauce mix, a simple sauce made with pantry staples saves the day and your wallet. It was absolutely delicious! I just don't know what to call it.

11th Hour Pasta

serves2

6oz ziti, or similar

2 tbsp flour

2 tbsp butter

1 cup chicken broth

1/3 cup milk, cream, (a couple dollops of sour cream would even do)

3 frozen hamburger patties

1 zucchini, diced

1 roma tomato, diced

1/2 onion, diced

Plenty of cheddar cheese. 

Boil some water and cook up your pasta. 

In a small saucepan, heat up your butter and once it's melted, whisk in your flour. When it's fully combined into a sort of paste, add your chicken broth. Stir to blend thoroughly. 

While the sauce is bubbling away, get a large skillet and throw your patties, still frozen, into it. Heat on medium high by the way. As they heat through, soften and cook, break them apart with a wooden spoon. 

As the beef is cooking and all crumbled up, add your veggies. Stir it up! Speaking of stirring, keep stirring that sauce. At this point, add your dairy* to the sauce.

Once your pasta is done (and let me tell you, ziti cooks FAST), drain it and throw it in to the mix. Now, pour your sauce, toss to coat evenly, and maybe season it all with some salt and pepper. Plate it up, add the cheddar shreds and devour. 

It was so quick, easy and delicious, I was really surprised!

*If you don't do dairy (Hi, Kat!), either skip it entirely or add some white wine for an extra tasty kick. 

Coq au Vin

This is an amazing recipe I got out of a Better Homes and Gardens cookbook. I thought it was intense the first time I made it, then I got used to the steps. Then I read a coq au vin recipe in my Cooking Light cookbook and it was over a page and a half and then I realized how good I had it with my BHG recipe. Here is the book:

And here is the much used recipe:

Let's get started! Now mine does vary a bit from the BHG version so keep that in mind, especially if you squint to read the recipe above and go "Wait a tick!"

Coq Au Vin
Serves 2-4


4 chicken leg quarters, skinned and divvied into drumsticks and thighs
1 large yellow onion
2 cups whole mushrooms, cut in half
1 cup sliced carrots
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped
1 tbsp marjoram
1 tbsp thyme
1 1/4 cup red wine
1/4 cup chicken broth
1/4 cup tomato paste
2 bay leaves
2 tbsp flour
2 tbsp butter
2 slices of bacon, cooked and crumbled
6 - 12oz cooked pasta (egg noodles, penne, ziti, etc)
Parmesan, shredded, to taste

Ok, where the hell do I start. Ah, the chicken. So, I use leg quarters because they are bigger than just a package of thighs and/or drumsticks. To me that's worth the extra step of splitting them.

Heat your pot on medium and add your chicken pieces. It takes a bit of arranging to get each of the eight pieces to touch the bottom, as you can tell:

But as each piece browns up, you can sort of wedge other less fortunately located pieces down in there:

Just keep at it...

And before you know it, you've got it. I could have gotten a darker color, but time was of the essence; This recipe takes some time so if you have to cut corners, you do it.

All right, while this stuff was doing its browning magic, I went ahead and prepped my wet stuff and my veggie stuff. I sliced my carrots, chopped my parsley, cut my onion into big chunks, added my herbs and garlic and combined them:

So pretty! Then I added my wine and chicken broth, and topped them off with my bay leaves:

And then because I'm worth it, I prepare the following:

Yeeeaaaaaah, baby. Now if you remember, this was all done while the chicken browned. So it's ready for its veggie and wine friends! Blurry, sorry.

Add your wine! Not my wine. Mmmm.

Ooh, look the bay leaves!

Stir it up and get it to boil.

Now add your tomato paste:

Once it's boiling, cover, reduce the heat and simmer for forty minutes. Time's up! Let's check it out. Wow, look, there are chicken pieces here, that have just fallen right off the bone. I'd say that's perfection:

Okay, so now you gotta clear all that veggie stuff out of there, leaving the delicious winey broth behind:

Set those yummy veggies aside:

Soften your butter and whisk in the flour:

Stir it into the broth mix and cook until it's thick and bubbly, like so:

Perfection! Now plate up those cooked noodles. It's okay if they're room temperature, the sauce and chicken will heat it right up. Add some butter because come on, this is a French recipe, bow down and show butter some respect:

Top with chicken, veggies and don't you dare forget to spoon that sauce over all of it! Next, add some crumbled bacon:

Try your best not to just dump the entire stuff right into your mouth. Yeah, because it's piping hot but mostly because you still haven't added your cheese:

Delicious! Enjoy for a date night with leftovers (Todd made some righteous coq au vin sandwiches the next day for lunch), or have a couple of friends over for a nice winter feast.