Goldichewie.

Once upon a time, Goldichewie came to the village. A crazy man found it, and gave it a try.

But the bone said "it's ok, but it's just not quite right."

Goldichewie then tried the crazy man's large-nosed wife, but said "It's ok, but it's not right."

Then Patton came and said "You two must be mighty damn drunk because this is my chewie and now I'm going to have to rub it in the dirt to get your gross drool off of it. Nice try, jerks.

And Goldichewie was relieved. And promptly devoured.