Four Eyes.

I got new glasses! I got new glasses! I got new glasses! I guess this subject would be more interesting if I had them in my grubby little paws (or on my grubby little face so I could post a photo), but they take 10 days to be made. But I am so, so excited.

I've had bad luck with glasses. The first time I went to Wal Mart Vision, and the lenses were messed up. There was like this weird crease, it seemed, right in the line of vision in the right lens. Of course, I never got it fixed because I was lazy and Wal Mart was SO FAR AWAY. But then the cat (yes, the cat, but not Bingley, another asshole cat) chewed up one of the arms, right where it goes behind my ear. That sucks, and no amount of scotch tape could cover it up.

Anyways, pair number 2 from Lenscrafters, which took like 5 years for me to finally go get, turned out way too big for my face, weren't measured correctly, and seriously, when I'd sneeze they'd fall off my face. Then the screws fell out and I was the proud owner of a pair of glasses held together by two too-big safety pins. Sexy stuff!

So finally, I sucked it up and, during my latest eye exam at Wal Mart vision, I asked about the cost of lenses. Since I am SO blind, I need the slimmest, sleekest lens out there to prevent coke bottle glasses syndrome. Those lenses? Yeah: $180. Luckily the frames start at $9 but those all sucked and the best ones in the cheapie section were like $20. So $200 for glasses.

Then! Then! I remembered Costco! I called and their slimmest, sleekest lens: $95. Let me clarify: NINETY FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS! WOOHOO. So I mosey on down there only to realize that what I should have asked as a follow up was "What is the average cost of your frames?" because holy shit, $179? I don't need Coach or Karl fucking Lagerfield glasses, I need durable baby-proof, cat-proof, JIL-PROOF glasses that don't cost an arm and a leg.

After probably 40 minutes, during which Alex was  running around with a pair of trial glasses on her face (too cute), dropping her lovey all over and doing what can only be described as downward dog butt push ups, I finally found a great pair: dark frames, slightly thick, and only $44 (thank you Kirkland Brand). Hurrah! And even better is that the woman who helped me actually measured where my pupils were on the lenses, marking where my line of vision would be, unlike anyone at Wal Mart or Lenscrafters. So I think three time's the charm.

Better yet? Overall cost: $139 and change. That's $41 cheaper than just the lenses at stupid old Wal Mart.