Spanish Chicken with Yogurt Sauce (a.k.a. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM)

I just... ok, right now, if we were talking instead of blogging/reading? Right now is when I'd be holding my head in my hands while trying to find the right words to accurately describe the most mind blowing orgasm I'd ever had. Except by orgasm I mean dinner.

I got this recipe from Cook's Country, but I changed several things. It called for chicken cutlets and I used chicken legs. It called for plain yogurt, I used plain non-fat. It called for dipping the chicken in the yogurt sauce, I just soaked it in nonfat milk. It didn't call for grated parmesan in the panko crumb mix, but I SURE DID. And those bastards wanted me to fry the chicken in oil and I was like HELL NO we are baking these sex machines. Finally, it didn't suggest serving this with ranch-dressing flavored mashed cauliflower but I did and I knocked this meal on it's ASS because I totally rocked, and totally destroyed my kitchen in the process:

Notice the hand held emulsifier that I realized would't work, but just left there as I danced around waiting for the cauliflower to steam and for Grey's Anatomy to stop fucking with my heart:

Um, on to the recipe!

Spanish Chicken with Yogurt Sauce
serves 2 

2 large chicken leg quarters, thighs and drummies separated
2 cups nonfat milk
1 tsp powdered chicken bouillon
1 cup (at least) panko crumbs
2 tbsp paprika
2 tbsp chili powder
1/4 cup shredded parmesan
Cooking spray
1 cup nonfat plain yogurt
2 tbsp finely snipped fresh parsley
2 tbsp paprika
salt and pepper to taste


OH MY GOD, MY BODY IS READY FOR THIS. Ok, sorry but this recipe blew me away; it was relatively simple but man, that yogurt sauce, those spices... so good!

Preheat your oven to 375. Soak your chicken in the milk and powdered chicken bouillon. I use a no-sodium version and I love it. When the oven is ready, as ready as my body is...

Mix the panko, paprika, chili powder, and parmesan in a large bowl. Dredge your chicken pieces in that sexy stuff, pressing to make sure the crumb mixture sticks. Place chicken on a cookie sheet prepped with cooking spray, and then spray each chicken piece with cooking spray.

Throw those porn stars into the oven for about 40 minutes.

When the chicken is done, remove from oven and tent with foil. NOW the sex starts.

Put the yogurt in a small skillet or saucepan and put on medium high heat. Add your parsley and paprika, salt and pepper, and cook until heated throw. THEN YOU PLATE YOUR CHICKEN? AND TOP IT WITH THE YOGURT?!

omg. HEAVENLY.

Mashed Ranch Caulifower
serves 2 

1 head cauliflower, cut into small florets
2-3 hearty squeezes of ranch dressing
1 tbsp olive oil
UM THAT IS ALL

Steam the cauliflower until a fork can completely destroy a floret. You know what I mean, you get impatient standing at the goddamn stove too.

Dump the cauliflower into a food processor and just let that bad boy run. When it seems to get gummed up, add a squeeze of ranch and a small drizzle of olive oil. Watch as your dreams come true, having already had your nightmares materialize thanks to the writers of Grey's Anatomy.

Keep blending, about two minutes, until it looks like mashed potatoes and let me tell all of you heartthrobs out there, IT TASTES LIKE IT TOO.

Here is your plate of G-Spot:

UM WHAT, IS THIS FOR REAL?

Yeah. Yeah, it is. Now roll over, light me a smoke and don't talk to me til morning.