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Friday, February 1, 2013


I just ate carbless lasagna for dinner last night! Well, by carbless, I mean, no pasta. There are bound to be carbs in a tomato based sauce but it's definitely healthier than just pasta.

The trick is using grain-free "tortillas" which are essentially crepes. I got a little bitchy in my comments on her site, but the person behind Against All Grain is the creator of those crepes, which can be found here, and despite my aforementioned bitchiness, I will say that these worked and were excellent in my lasagna last night. That lasagna recipe can be found here, but I'm re-posting it because I did make some changes.

For one thing, cooked spinach grosses me right the fuck out, so where she had 2 cups spinach just sauteed, I'd change that to 2 cups chopped up spinach so nowhere do I experience a nasty limp and slimy leaf sitting on my tongue all by itself. NO THANK YOU. Plus do you know how easy it is to spread a measley two cups of sauteed spinach over multiple layers of ricotta-smeared delicate crepes? NOT EASY AT ALL thank you very much.

No Pasta Lasagna!
serves 4 - 6

10 of those crazy ass crepes, cut in half lengthwise
1 lb Trader Joe's Sicilian style chicken sausage, casings removed
2 cups ricotta (I used low fat and thusly had to add some almond milk to thin it out)
1 tsp basil
1 tsp oregano
salt and pepper
2 cups baby spinach, finely chopped
1 jar pasta sauce or marinara
8oz mozzarella shreds
Parmesan for sprinkling

So, if you're like me you're going to start off your night basically ignoring your toddler because GODDAMMIT you WILL make a fucking flourless crepe if your life depends on it. It will take two batches, four skillets and two glasses of white wine, but you finally accomplish your goal. Your child is unimpressed.

Preheat your oven to 375 and just you TRY to wipe that smug look off your face just because you produced 10 carbless crepes when you have never before made even a regular crepe in your LIFE.

Next, cook up your sausage using the last skillet that finally worked in your crepe endeavor, breaking it up into delicious crumbles. Drain on a paper-towel-lined plate.

Mix your ricotta and herbs and spices together.

Now, grease an 8x11 pyrex (I measured mine by taking a sheet of paper out of our printer and laying it in there. Did I ever tell you I have a degree in brains?) and drop a good couple of tablespoons of sauce in there, spreading it with a basting brush or whatever the hell you want. Can you tell I'm still feeling hostile about those crepes? You will too!

Place your crepes in there like noodles, and make sure to slightly overlap them so the filling doesn't seep through and shatter your delicate, carbless facade. Now, shmear on some ricotta, and yes, it's sort of a careful procedure. Just pour another glass out of that box you have on your counter and carry on.

Next, sprinkle some chopped spinach over that. Then, add some of the sausage. Then, sprinkle with mozzarella. And now some sauce! Use that basting brush, people! Then, add more crepes. GENIUS.

Repeat until you left with nothing but box of wine.

Pop that fucker in the oven for 25 - 30 minutes until it comes out looking like this badass:

EAT. MARVEL. REJOICE! Now, this was damn close to real lasagna. It tastes a wee bit dry and I'm betting that was more to do with my shitty low fat ricotta than anything else. This was awesome! It had me and my tastebuds fooled, Todd was over the moon with delight because that man loves the hell out of lasagna, and he was even saying crazy shit like restaurants need to have this as a healthier alternative. Wowzer!

Enjoy, folks! And if you want tips on those goddamn crepes, just let me know.

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