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Wednesday, January 16, 2013


Last night I got a new game app on my phone called Song Pop. I sat on the sofa for the last part of Alexadra's night playing obsessively. I sort of felt like an ass, but Todd and Alex were chasing each other around and so it wasn't like I was being neglectful.

But then later that night I had a horrible dream. The first part wasn't so bad; I was scouting routes for us to go to Canada to ski (don't ask). But it morphed into a horrible scenario. I had Alex with me and a new electronic gadget, basically like an iPad, and I was using it to FaceTime with friends and letting Alex see.

We were in some sort of huuuuuge mall/amusement park type place and we were in a restaurant bar type place. I sat on a barstool talking to friends while Alex played near a banquet table FULL of food. Suddenly the dream shifted and I was essentially inside the iPad. If I hit a game app, basically a door opened in the hall I was walking in, and I could go in, sit down and play the app, like in an arcade.

I pushed a button (my God I think it was Bad Piggies) and went on in to a darkened room, put my purse and iPad down and sat down to play the game. There were loads of other gaming stations and it was about half full of other people. It dawned on me that Alex would love to play and then I started freaking out because I realized I'd left her in the food room.

I panicked, left my purse and ran outside. But like in Labyrinth, the floor layout had changed and due to the dream changing itself between the food room and my walking in a hall, I had no idea where to go to find her again. There was a long switchback style line, like lines at Disneyland, full of people and there was an Asian man holding a glass of wine who was boss of that room. I was so frantic I could hardly talk but I told him I needed to find my daughter but needed him to get my purse.

And that is where I woke up. Frozen in panic and fear and terror, apart from my daughter, stuck in a huge line in a strange place. And it was all due to this stupid electronic device that had gotten me all distracted. I lay there in bed, torn over whether to just go wake up Alexandra so I could hold her close to my body, or whether I should try and fix the situation in my dream.

I chose the latter, and using my power as the dream's architect I tried to go back to that room and imagine myself hearing "Mama! Mommy! Where are you?" like she does in grocery stores when I step four feet away from the cart. It sorrrta worked, and at least helped to calm myself down. I imagined her coming through the crowd to me in her little jammies and I imagined the feel of her body pressed against mine in a hug.

When she woke up I bounced right on into her room and petted and stroked her face and hair, giving her little arm and leg a squeeze, and since then we've had a great day together. But that dream truly gave me pause because something sinister like that could actually happen were my attention sucked too thoroughly into my phone, into anything else while out and about with Alexandra. And I sure as hell am not going to fart around on my phone when there are chases to be had, Ha-Ha houses to be built, or snuggles to be stolen from a rowdy toddler.

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