Some people might not recall Stuart Smalley, but he was a character on SNL many, many moons ago. And while his over the top self-affirmation skits were, well, over the top, there is some truth to his catch phrase above: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me!"
The other day I was struck, out of nowhere, by the blues. In the matter of an hour I went from tired but happy to tired, depressed, uncreative, unattractive and shabby.
What happened? I'm not sure. I am my own worst critic and harshest judge. I like holding myself to lofty standards and when I don't feel like I measure up, instead of focusing on bright spots or silver linings (sure the kitchen is dirty at night but the dinner was delicious or, sure you missed being there for Alex's dinner but you had to do your long-ass workout to prep for the triathlon), I just sink into a quagmire of guilt and regret over not managing to do everything on my to do list and to do it all perfectly with manicured nails and a fresh hairdo.
But I loathe that sort of self-pitying, self-criticizing bullshit. After a long evening of me moping around and feeling like crap about myself, I woke up the next day a new woman. Here I am, in a loving, supportive, passionate marriage, with a perfect little girl who lights up our lives. We have a roof over our head, are healthy, athletic and energetic, we eat well and live comfortably despite a budget. We have our family and friends around us and they are all incredibly kind, generous and supportive. We are actually incredibly happy.
So what the hell do I have to mope about? I am who I am and I love myself despite and including all my faults. I may forget the laundry in the washing machine all the time, and I may not have the latest fashion trends or a fresh mani/pedi. I may be too tired at the end of the night to put the dishes in the washer and turn it on, I might not make Alex's food from scratch and I might not want to walk the dog after a 90 minute workout and running errands after work.
But you know what? None of that matters. For every negative, there's a positive. I won't list them here because it would sound rather self-serving. The point of this post is not to pat myself on the back but to remind everyone out there not to get down on themselves. So let's just sum it up with Stuart's rally: I'm smart enough, I'm good enough, and doggone it, people like me.