So I realized this weekend that Alexandra wasn't suffering from allergies but was likely suffering from a cold. And before you're all HORRIBLE PARENT ALERT let me just explain myself and put the blame entirely on my toddler: she is always SO upbeat and jolly, that it's hard to tell when she's ill. The only time I've been like "Oh ok, yeah, she is totally sick" is when she was vomiting all over me. That was an easy one.
Yes, she had a runny nose and was sneezing, but so were Todd and I; allergies reign over here for all of spring and some of summer. It's a bitch, really, because I have NEVER had allergies in all my life. But two years ago Tucson was all "yeah, you've been here long enough, it is time for PAIN."
Anyways, the way I found out that Alex was likely sick with a cold was that I started feeling like shit on Saturday. The itchy nasty sensation in the back of the throat? Yeah, I owned that Saturday night and Sunday morning. So Sunday morning, badass that I am (I guess Alex gets it from me), I threw my corned beef and cabbage together, popped that puppy in the oven and went to the grocery store to get the stuff I needed for a detox bath I read about on Pinterest.
Oh, Pinterest. We're like Benedick and Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing, where once there was mutual disregard and dislike, now we're practically banging each other in public.
Anyways (if I pulled the data I bet this word actually beats out Shit, Fuck and Goddamn in my blog posts), I needed epsom salts and more baking soda and ginger to complete the ingredient list. I had already purchased tea tree oil and lavender oil at the hippie dippy store over the weekend. Then I came home, cleaned the tub and got ready for some serious detoxing.
For those who hate clicking links, the recipe goes as such:
a tub of hot water
two cups or more epsom salts (unless you're under 100lbs, then it's less and then you just go click that damn link yourself)
one cup baking soda
1 tbsp - 1/3 cup ginger -- I went with 1 tbsp to be on the safe side since you can have a sensitivity to it
20 drops or so of any oils you'd like. I did lavender and tea tree oil, obviously.
Swish that shit around and pop yourself in for forty minutes. Yes. Almost an hour. The first twenty minutes are to sweat out the toxins and the last twenty minutes are to absorb the minerals. I did it and I can tell you one thing, it's been at LEAST however old Alex is since I've just lingered in a tub. The last time I just lingered like that was when I was laboring at home. So, three years ago, almost.
It was sort of awesome, sort of boring. Women's Health, Vanity Fair and Parenting helped but two out of three of those magazines sort of suck and sometimes all three of them do. Plus Alex kept coming in and poking me and dipping her hands in the water, but that was sort of awesome too.
Anyways, after my forty minutes were up, and you can rest assured that I had a goddamn clock in there with me so I didn't have to sit in there a minute more, I carefully stood up and, as the wiki how page warned, I did feel light headed and sort of woozy. I had brought a huuuge thing of water with me and I think I drank too much of it, because I also felt sort of nauseated. I just felt sort of strange afterwards. That's the only word for it, really.
I also felt flushes of heat all throughout the day, sweating one moment and then feeling fine the next. I took an afternoon catnap on Todd's lap and went to bed that night worried about how sick I'd be for work the next day; I had taken a day off the week before and was determined not to do it again. The next morning on Monday, I woke up and... I felt fine. Absolutely normal, no sickness, no aches and pains like I usually do in the first stages of a cold. The itchy nasty tickle in my throat? Gone. No congestion, no stuffiness.
Was it just a super light cold? I don't think so. Alex is still talking with a super stuffed up voice and her chi is far more vigorous than mine. Really, the only thing I did was take Advil early on Sunday morning, and then do my detox bath at 10:45am. But by early the next morning, any remnants of a cold were absolutely gone.
So, I can't say with any certainty that it worked, but... Did it? If you're not feeling well or just want to tell your spouse and kid(s) that you are NOT AVAILABLE for 40 minutes, I'd give it a try. Just don't chug too much water.
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