Berry Pie!

Well what in the hell did I do last night? I made a pie! That's right, a PIE. A FRUIT PIE. Normally I stick to Chess Pie which is just pie. Which is a funny story because as the ~legend~ goes, and watch out cause it's mildly racist, some big time southern family way back when had some yankee guests for dinner and afterwards the pie was so good, so absolutely divine that those crazy upstart yankees requested to speak with the cook who was of course black, and because she was black she wasn't well spoken and because she was southern the yankees couldn't understand her so when they asked, begged, pleaded to know what kind of pie it was, when cook said "It's just pie" they heard "It's Chess Pie" so there you go.

Can you BELIEVE I told that story in one sentence?

So, yeah, Chess Pie is just eggs, butter and sugar, really. THIS pie has berries in it! And while I feel like a badass because this is how it came out:

You should probably know that it only has a handful of ingredients, very laid back easy steps and a long enough cooking time that you can bathe your baby, chase her around the house and prep dinner all during the first stage of cooking. If we ate at anything close to a normal dinner hour, then we would have eaten, bathed the baby, put her to bed, cleaned all the dishes and the entire kitchen just in time to pull this bad boy out of the oven, let it cool and maybe have sex or something before eating it. DID I JUST SAY SEX?

I got this out of my Better Homes and Gardens cookbook. They have different filling mix ratios of berry to sugar to flour, but since I used mixed frozen, I'm only going to expound on that version. Oh and I didn't have the flour, patience or time to make my own crusts so I used a two pack of store bought and I feel NO shame. It was delicious and simple and easy on the wallet so who could ever complain?

Mixed Berry Pie
Prep time: 50 minutes
Bake time: 1 hour 20 minutes

1 cup sugar
1/3 cup flour
5 cups frozen mixed berries
2 Pillsbury pie crusts, brought to room temperature
2 tbsp milk
1 big pinch sugar
Foil

Set your oven to 375. In a large bowl mix your sugar and flour together. Stir in your berries and gently toss to coat. Let your berry mix sit out for about 45 minutes.

Gently unroll one pie crust and lightly press it into a 9" pie tin, folding any excess crust under, just to the edge of the tin. Pour in your berry mixture, spreading it out evenly.

Gently unroll the second pie crust onto a paper towel and cut slits into it to let steam escape. Then drape it on top of the berries, and fold the top crust over the edges of the bottom crust. Use your fingers to pinch the crusts together into the flute design like you see in the picture. And if you're better then me, go ahead and make it all symmetrical. I WON'T JUDGE YOU.

Brush the top with milk and then sprinkle with sugar. Take a 12" square of foil (I didn't measure but this is what BHG was all about), fold it in half and cut a semi-circle out of the center of it. They suggest a 7" circle but I will be honest, I didn't whip out my ruler or anything. I did, however, marvel over how fumbling it feels to cut foil with scissors. Yet, I prevailed. I always do.

Now, cover your pie with the foil. This protects the edges from over-browning. Pop your pie in the oven and set your timer for 50 minutes. At the 50 minute mark, remove the foil and continue baking for 25 - 30 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool.

I was so excited I didn't wait very long, maybe 20 or 30 minutes before diving in. This was my result:

Oh, no, don't get me wrong, I'm not harshly judging it. But see how molten the insides look? I think it would have held its shape far better had I just waited. It was SO GOOD though. Todd and I shared that slice and I swear he morphed into a barracuda the way he went after it, and we're not normally dessert people.

"Why did you bake a goddamn pie then Jil?"

I do not have to answer to you, sir! Now good day (and happy pie baking)!