Too Cool for School.

This is basically what scares me about sending Alexandra to a run of the mill public school. Hell, even private schools, but at least private schools aren't slaves to the AIMS. But this is a major reason why I am  giving serious thought to home schooling.

Cycles.

I took Patton for an extremely lazy, easy jog at a local park here in town yesterday late afternoon. My knee was still feeling dynamite after last week's 12 mile bike ride, followed up the next day by a mile walk/run with the dog. I was still so utterly exhausted from painting the living room all weekend (more on that later) and due to all that painting, poor Patton was left cooped up either indoors or sequestered with the damn cat in the backyard. I needed something fun and easy and Patton needed ANYTHING. Poor guy seemed even more emo. While I know we cannot attribute human emotions to animals, it's still sort of amusing to do so. Every time he'd walk around on Sunday Todd and I would say "Oh, I'm depressed" in the deep, lispy Patton voice Todd invented. Wait. Am I talking about running?

Right. Well, I decided I'd jog really lightly, with more of a shuffle step then an out and out prancy, high-kneed jaunty pace. Which actually is better for you. The higher you lift your thighs, the higher the impact and subsequently all the more energy is expelled. But I digress. I figured if I felt anything, ANY sort of sensation coming from my knee, I'd back off, stretch and walk a bit. Which I did about four times.

But you guys? I ran. And it felt so good, and it was so tiring, and it was such an accomplishment. You know, they say that even if you work out for years, if you have to stop, it only takes about 12 weeks to lose what you've built up. GUESS HOW LONG I'VE BEEN OUT TO PASTURE. Yep. 12 weeks. What a bummer, right? 

That gets frustrating sometimes. You feel like if you stop to rest or, in my case, recover, you're doing so on a slippery slope that will only dump you out at that 12 week bottom of Back to Square One. But, yesterday as I was jogging with an increasingly more tired dog (he used to smoke me sometimes, but it seems like the 12 week rule also applies to German shepherds), the idea of cycles came upon me.

I was actually thinking about cycles the other day when I realized it had been a couple of months since I bit my nails, and they've now grown to a pretty, ladylike length. I even painted them with color last night! But with my nails, it's always about a 3 - 6 month cycle with them. Either stress or nerves or a fidgety need comes over me and suddenly I can't stop chewing my nails to shreds. And then, one day, it stops. I stop biting my nails and I just let it go. I stop thinking about them entirely, but through no mustering of will power. The cycle ends.

And that's how it is with everything. I had had fun training and busting my ass for that triathlon. Afterwards, my body needed rest. I kept pushing and pushing until July when it said STOP. So, I stopped and my God, I'm so glad I did. The body, the mind, the entire planet are cyclical. I needed those 12 weeks to get my body back in gear and now, just in time for autumn runs and cool weather bike rides, my body is getting ready for another part of the cycle. The fun part, to be honest.

The same thing goes with my allergies. I was so fed up with them that Sunday morning at 4:30am, when I woke up utterly unable to breathe through my nose despite taking allergy meds, I cried and got up and sulked while Googling Sudafed and rebound congestion. And then around 5am, I realized I just needed to succumb to it. The allergies were linked to the seasons; they'd leave eventually. I had to breathe through my mouth when I'm sick, so I'm going to have to suck it up and deal with these allergies. So I went back to sleep and slept until 9am.

And the same thing goes with my other ailments also. A jaw that won't close. Instead of futzing with it constantly and getting it more and more stiff and sore and tightened up, I gave up. I went to the dentist, got some treatment advice, and it's almost back to normal. My knee hurt, so instead of flailing blindly in life, bemoaning a mysterious injury, I got advice and I accepted my place in the cycle. The same is occuring now with my plantar fasciitis. I need to stretch, I need to ice, I need to accept that it's an issue I have to deal with, I have to accept where I am with it, and I need to fix it. And then, I'll be right as rain.

I frequently feel stuck in my life, in all sorts of small and various ways. I'd love to be home full time, spending hours on my writing, and the other parts of the day doing brilliant and creative things with Alexandra and having quality romantic time with Todd. But I have to work. Oh poor me, I'm stuck! Well, Jil, flip it over and be grateful you have a job! One day I will get the opportunity to do these things, but it's not now. That's now the part of the cycle I'm in. I need to focus on doing a good job in the field I'm in now, not pine for something that simply isn't in the cards at the moment.

I felt so stuck with my stupid knee all summer, too. Can you believe I felt trapped? In an otherwise able body! Instead I should have been focusing on how I was healing it up, getting ready for the next phase of my active life. Being fit and healthy is not just running yourself into the ground all in the name of calorie burn, endurance and strength. It's knowing when to take care of yourself. I feel so foolish all of a sudden, realizing the wasted energy I spent on being negative. I will not be injured, allergy-ridden, jaw-locked for the rest of my life. Well, I will be if I don't take advantage of the time and take care of myself. But if I accept it, embrace it and follow through with a solution, well, that chapter, that cycle, is complete. I move on.

Sometimes there is just a time and a place for things, and for you to be in and often times the options in that place are limited. Sure we may want it all, but realistically that is not an option. There is a time and a place for everything, and sometimes you have put something off to take care of other things, to take care of yourself. It will cycle back around and give you another opportunity, but one needs a bit of patience in life. Sometimes you have to sit this round out and accept that it wasn't meant to be, but next time, it's all yours for the taking.

Review: Brocato Cloud 9 Hair Care

A couple of weeks ago, after trying and failing to put a little body and some waves in my hair with some crappy hair products and an old curling iron, I decided I was fed up, FED UP I TELL YOU, with the stuff I had been using.

I was a die hard Jason fanatic due to its gentle, non-detergent formula that was paraben free to boot. It didn't strip my hair of oils and moisture like most brands like Pantene, um, my God I cannot think of another shampoo brand. Garnier! There you go. Herbal Essences! Okay.

But recently they changed their formulas and I must be Princess-and-the-Pea sensitive to stuff like that because instantly I could tell a difference in the feel of the shampoo (slimier) and how it affected my hair. So finally, after getting zero curl in my hair and having it feel heavy and blah and looking dull and blah, after looking into the mirror to see my daughter break off all my deoderant into the cap and claw at it with her fingernails, I decided this mommy needed some better shampoo.

I called my diva-rific friend Kendra and asked what she used. She gave me some names but since she colors her hair and I don't, we decided I just needed to traipse on down to Ulta and browse around. After a lot of fruitless searching (95% of shampoos have sodium laureth sulfate and that stuff is too drying for me), I finally found Brocato. Now some of their shampoos do contain SLS and they all contain some sort of gentler variant, but then I found their Cloud 9 line, which is all about repairing and restoring.

What I was grateful for, considering this stuff is like $17 a bottle, was that they also offered sample sizes. I think it might be because the Cloud 9 line is all about repairing and some people don't feel the need to protect their hair more than once a week or so.

Since my hair is on the long side, I have the dry ends issue, so I wound up going back and purchasing the regular sizes of both the shampoo and conditioner, and here's why: After just one time using them, the texture of my hair was vastly improved. I used a serum from another of Brocato's line, Curl Interrupted, before blow drying and those strange bumps in my hair disappeared completely. I shampoo at night because the idea of getting into bed dirty disgusts and confuses me, but the next day, my hair looks like I did it that morning, no lie.

I haven't felt the need to use a straightener on my hair since I bought this stuff, and considering that simply blow-drying my hair straightens those stupid bumps out (which the straightener was failing to do), it's not hard to see why.

OH. And last night I used a new serum I purchased, since it was on sale at Ulta when I returned for my bigger sizes, is the Cloud 9 Blowout serum, and my God, after I blow dried my hair, I just couldn't stop touching it. I made Todd, my mom and my stepdad touch my hair because it was such an utter improvement. And shine! I almost forgot. While it's not blinded-by-the-sun shiny, there is defintitely an improvement in that area. I am thinking that after these bottles are used up, I'm going to explore more of the Brocato line. While browsing their website I found some different lines that weren't at Ulta, so I may purchase them there (I linked you guys to their site above in the text).

Grade: A+

The Cheese Stands Alone.

I swear, I'm the only person woman on the planet who doesn't absolutely love Pinterest. I just don't fucking get it. Like, I got started and it seemed fun, there are so many pretty things on there. But it seems designed to keep you there on the Pinterest site. Yes, I know about the Pin It button and that I can pin stuff while looking around the internet, but... I don't know. I screw around on the internet to read Oh No They Didn't, check out recaps and the forums on Television Without Pity and play Words with Friends. I can't really re-pin that sort of stuff.

I loved some of the recipes I saw on there though and I'd like to check them out again so maybe I'll go back and discover the magical spell of Pinterest. I'm starting to wonder though if this is a sign of mental retardation or something though. Almost all my girlfriends are on it and obsessed with it and whenever they explain it to me, I'm like "I don't get it" or "That sounds like a microcosm of the internet" or "Isn't that like bookmarks in Google Chrome?" Maybe it's just prettier? I don't know. I don't know because I DON'T GET IT.

And part of it feels like a big race to get your things pinned and re-pinned, like there's a pressure to get followers or to have your stuff pinned. Because the more you pin, the more often you show up on the main page. Me, I am lost in obscurity down in Pinterest's nether regions. It's not even the last thing I think about, pinning stuff I find online, because I literally don't even think about it. I messed around with it one evening, and Todd was like "OOOOH so it begins, the infamous Pinterest" but after the weekend was over, so was my dalliance with it.

Even the ladies who write the blogs I love are going on about Pinterest. Even Heather Armstrong of Dooce got into it which, since I am a huge fan of hers, sort of stung. I really felt alone and stupid after that.

Oh well. I mean if this isn't the epitome of a first world problem, then maybe I'll have to complain about how I smudged my otherwise perfect home pedicure even though I waited like THIRTY MINUTES for that shit to dry. It's a wonder I can even get out of bed in the mornings, with these sorts of crippling setbacks.

Knee!

How amazing is it that I went on a 12 mile bike ride on Wednesday, then walked/ran Patton yesterday, and am in NO pain?

Why, it's remarkable, it is! My last fitness-related post was way back in July, on the 19th in fact, when I declared myself an offical broken down old plow horse. I had over-worked my legs to the point of seriously offending my patellar ligament (which is the only thing connecting my quad muscle to my shin - fun stuff). July 19th!! It is September 21st, so it took three full months of completely removing all biking and running from my workout regimens. I wasn't to kick while swimming and I limited elliptical workouts to just 30 minutes.

But I'm delighted to report that, judging from this week's activity and subsequent lack of pain, I'm back, baby. Now, I'm not going to immediately throw myself back into each sport. I'm going to ease in, with a weekly bike ride and just itty bitty walk/runs with Patton. What was interesting to me was that last night I had attempted an interval workout on the treadmill: walk a minute, run a minute, but I felt the old familiar twinge in the knee so I stopped immediately. But then while walking Patton later, I decided to give it a try and I felt zero twinges. It was amazing! I felt so lucky, and so happy, and so free. My jaw is still all messed up and my allergies are driving me insane, but to have this one thing work out for me was an absolute boon.

It was weird, too, because while making dinner last night I had to squat down to get a pan and when I stood up, digging in through my heels for balance, I was actually surprised that I didn't feel it in my knee. It's been that bad all spring and summer, since before I even competed in the triathlon. So that was just wonderful. To think, no pain while doing a mundane task! Are those singing angels I hear? Is that light shining down from heaven above? Yes on both counts!

I can't wait to get back to running. I mean, I can wait and I will, but I will do impatiently, sort of bouncing in my seat, wiggling around, as fidgety as a kid waiting for Santa.

Damn. Today Was A Good Day.

You know, sometimes a day happens and you hope every day can work out as perfectly. I didn't win a million dollars or get a full eight hours at the spa, but it was just lovely. Todd got up early to work on business stuff while Alex and I slept in til 9am. Yeah you read that right!

She got up, we got ready for swim school and off we went. My mom and stepdad (a.k.a The Nonie and The Barrie respectively) and Alex got to swim. She's definitely behind because the other kids are older and are advancing very quickly, but for the first time Alex really conquered her fears about the monkey walk, which is holding on to the edge of the pool and using her hands to "walk" down a short length of it. THEN she did the monkey climb, which is climbing all by herself out of the pool. Today was the first time she did it without a bottom boost from the teacher.

Afterwards we went home, had some food and Alex got to watch Sleeping Beauty ("Wanna watch.. Aurora???" "Sure thing, Bug!") While she watched, I cleaned the house. Hurrah! House is cleaned up by 12pm? What a boon! So that left all the time before nap for some playtime with Alex. We practiced kicking, monkey climbs and dives. Dives were sitting on the edge of the bed and "diving" (a.k.a. slowly falling) into a pile of pillows. We threw her ball, jumped around like bouncing balls, and generally ran around the house destroying all the cleaning I had done.

Alex napped, I screwed around on the internet while Todd worked on a backyard project, and then I went on my first 12 mile bike ride in months with NO KNEE PAIN. I did have some trouble mid-ride when the valve worked loose from my rear tire's tube but I jogged that bike to Performance Bicycle, got it replaced and went on my way downtown. I did give myself a gnarly bike pedal check to my left heel which resulted in blood loss but I kept on and had one hell of a workout.

I came home, cleaned up and showered up while Alex "helped" Todd finish his backyard project. Then we had a delicious steak dinner that was completely devoured and cleaned up by Alex's bath. BUT BEFORE her bath, Todd invented the Pick Up game which is having Alexandra look all around the house for her toys. Like an Easter Egg hunt but with 100% of benefits and profits going to me, the hard work I put in cleaning the house, and my back thanks to no stooping to pick up approximately 2785748 of her toys. While her tub time was right on schedule, her bedtime was rather late since we let her horse around and play in the water. But then Alex went right down after Todd brushed her hair while Alex brushed mine and while we traded turns singing the hair brushing spell from Tangled.

And now, here we are. Todd and I are tired but contentedly so. We're about to watch an episode of Boardwalk Empire and after that I'm going to read in bed while giving my jaw hot compresses because did I forget to mention, my jaw is almost completely back to normal?!

Needless to say, I hope and pray next Wednesday works out so seamlessly. There is nothing quite like getting good quality:

1. Time with my baby
2. Educational swim time
3. Housework finished
4. Workouts accomplished
5. Dinner consumed
6. All around good family time.

Thank you, September 19th. You have done your duty.

Berry Pie!

Well what in the hell did I do last night? I made a pie! That's right, a PIE. A FRUIT PIE. Normally I stick to Chess Pie which is just pie. Which is a funny story because as the ~legend~ goes, and watch out cause it's mildly racist, some big time southern family way back when had some yankee guests for dinner and afterwards the pie was so good, so absolutely divine that those crazy upstart yankees requested to speak with the cook who was of course black, and because she was black she wasn't well spoken and because she was southern the yankees couldn't understand her so when they asked, begged, pleaded to know what kind of pie it was, when cook said "It's just pie" they heard "It's Chess Pie" so there you go.

Can you BELIEVE I told that story in one sentence?

So, yeah, Chess Pie is just eggs, butter and sugar, really. THIS pie has berries in it! And while I feel like a badass because this is how it came out:

You should probably know that it only has a handful of ingredients, very laid back easy steps and a long enough cooking time that you can bathe your baby, chase her around the house and prep dinner all during the first stage of cooking. If we ate at anything close to a normal dinner hour, then we would have eaten, bathed the baby, put her to bed, cleaned all the dishes and the entire kitchen just in time to pull this bad boy out of the oven, let it cool and maybe have sex or something before eating it. DID I JUST SAY SEX?

I got this out of my Better Homes and Gardens cookbook. They have different filling mix ratios of berry to sugar to flour, but since I used mixed frozen, I'm only going to expound on that version. Oh and I didn't have the flour, patience or time to make my own crusts so I used a two pack of store bought and I feel NO shame. It was delicious and simple and easy on the wallet so who could ever complain?

Mixed Berry Pie
Prep time: 50 minutes
Bake time: 1 hour 20 minutes

1 cup sugar
1/3 cup flour
5 cups frozen mixed berries
2 Pillsbury pie crusts, brought to room temperature
2 tbsp milk
1 big pinch sugar
Foil

Set your oven to 375. In a large bowl mix your sugar and flour together. Stir in your berries and gently toss to coat. Let your berry mix sit out for about 45 minutes.

Gently unroll one pie crust and lightly press it into a 9" pie tin, folding any excess crust under, just to the edge of the tin. Pour in your berry mixture, spreading it out evenly.

Gently unroll the second pie crust onto a paper towel and cut slits into it to let steam escape. Then drape it on top of the berries, and fold the top crust over the edges of the bottom crust. Use your fingers to pinch the crusts together into the flute design like you see in the picture. And if you're better then me, go ahead and make it all symmetrical. I WON'T JUDGE YOU.

Brush the top with milk and then sprinkle with sugar. Take a 12" square of foil (I didn't measure but this is what BHG was all about), fold it in half and cut a semi-circle out of the center of it. They suggest a 7" circle but I will be honest, I didn't whip out my ruler or anything. I did, however, marvel over how fumbling it feels to cut foil with scissors. Yet, I prevailed. I always do.

Now, cover your pie with the foil. This protects the edges from over-browning. Pop your pie in the oven and set your timer for 50 minutes. At the 50 minute mark, remove the foil and continue baking for 25 - 30 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool.

I was so excited I didn't wait very long, maybe 20 or 30 minutes before diving in. This was my result:

Oh, no, don't get me wrong, I'm not harshly judging it. But see how molten the insides look? I think it would have held its shape far better had I just waited. It was SO GOOD though. Todd and I shared that slice and I swear he morphed into a barracuda the way he went after it, and we're not normally dessert people.

"Why did you bake a goddamn pie then Jil?"

I do not have to answer to you, sir! Now good day (and happy pie baking)!