Randoms.

1. Bingley got into a fight with some creature on Monday. His right hind leg was jacked up, there were cuts all over his mouth and a slice in the delicate part of his right ear. He was filthy, covered in oil spots from, most likely, hunkering down under a car all night which leads me to believe that it was not another cat he was fighting, but something much larger that wasn't able to follow him under there.

He refused to eat or drink anything, despite our encouragements, for like two days. He kept trying to pee though, which made us think maybe his bladder had been bruised in the assault. Finally I got Alex's medicine dropper thing and used it to dose the goddamn cat with water, which seemed to really help. And considering that the poor bastard just laid there in my arms, lapping as the water squirted into his mouth, I think he really needed it.

By Thursday there was no improvement on the pee front, so I took him to the vet. 90 minutes and $120 bucks later, we had a cat with a bunch of fluids injected under his skin and two types of drugs to give him. And he only hissed at me and swatted me like once! Wow, what a grateful little motherfucker. I bought him some canned wet food to help increase his hydration and triumphantly fought all my urges to wring his neck and take him to small claims court.

2. After two years of living in this house we finally finished painting it. Todd wrapped up the hallway on Sunday, removing the huge and broken down doorbell box from above the thermostat (and even patching up over the small tangle of wires that were protruding from just beside the front door knob outside the house), and patching up the hole where he had ripped out the hall light from the ceiling after smacking his head into it one too many times (he's 6'7"). It looks a lot better, so much so that we have to wonder why we waited so long. I guess after living with crap for a period of time renders you sort of numb to the unsightliness. Now if I could just get him to gut the kitchen and bathroom...

3. Tuesday night we ordered Chinese food from our favorite place, which also delivers, Szechuan Omei. I finally got something different and MY GOD I am so glad I did: Singapore mei fun. I googled it to figure out what it was to make sure I'd like it (hey white girl) and was surprised to find that it is a very standard basic thing that all American Chinese chefs have to master, much like fried rice. I got it and it was SO delicious, very straightforward in flavors but absolutely tantalizing. It had a smoky sort of BBQ flavor. It consists of super thin, angel-hair style noodles (I think made of rice), scallions, bits of what looked like BBQ pork, some shrimp, bean sprouts and I believe curry. SO GOOD. I want to get it again. Like right now. For second breakfast (I am a hobbit).

4. I'm becoming re-hooked to BBC shows, mostly due to my now ravenous hunger to live in the UK or at the very least somewhere in the US that has grass, cold weather and a legitimate fall weather wardrobe that includes sweaters instead of shorts and flip flops. It's starting to drive me crazy. I've had a yen to move out of Tucson for awhile, but it really set in around May, before summer even began, because I was so fucking sick of being hot all the goddamn time. I want grass for my child to run in, I want to accessorize with layers and shoes and socks, I want to let the dog out in the afternoon without fear he'll die of heat stroke. I wear flip flops because I cannot STAND IT when my feet get hot and my feet are always hot here. My own body is telling me to GTFO. But our families are here, and a ton of our friends and loved ones. I guess I need to convince everyone to move to Scotland.

5. I buckled and re-signed up with the YMCA in anticipation of my Platinum Fitness membership expiring next month. The only thing I'll miss is the cardio theatre room, and since they offer memberships for 9.95 a month, no contracts required, I'm also seriously considering just signing up with Platinum and having two memberships. I mean, while signed up at Platinum I was starting to buckle and pay the $10 day pass to the YMCA just so I could swim in their 25 yard pool because it is truly a superior workout to a measly 15 yard pool. So if I was willing to pay ten bucks for a one shot, why not pay ten bucks for the chance to do the elliptical while watching a movie a couple of times a week? Is having two gym memberships even a thing? Is that crazy? I'm worth it for sure, but... Ehh. I will petition the YMCA to get a cardio theatre?

6. Once Upon A Time is back on and I'm going batshit crazy for its epic awesomeness. WHO IS DR. WHALE. Who is the Mystery Man in the opening scene? Is he Henry's dad? Is he Baelfare, Rumpelstiltskin's son? BOTH? Or is he Peter Pan or the White Rabbit? Will Philip be brought back to life? Will he bone Aurora AND Mulan? Who gave Mulan a bump-it for her hair and how does she do that hairstyle in the woods? Does Aurora help? WHO IS DR. WHALE??

Randoms.

1. I'm still pretty sick. I can't believe how hard this cold hit me. I know, I know, it's just a cold but damn. It knocked me on my ass on Tuesday, but I had symptoms all weekend; I just figured they were allergies. So technically I've been fighting this thing for a straight week. I've felt like shit Tuesday through today, a Friday. This just seems so wrong and not fair at all.

Can I just say that on a first world problem level, there's just nothing worse than being sick as a parent. Because you don't get to rest. You are still ON, so even if you stay home from the office, you don't get to clock out on parenthood. I realized this sad fate one time when Alex was less than a year old. It was such a hard day, and I think it made me sicker. I got a lot more rest time during this cold only because Alex is older, able to entertain herself easily, and loves the hell out of the movie Tangled. But still, it sucks and it's hard and it's life, and there you have it. Cookies crumble, etc.

2. I've re-watched almost the entire first season of Once Upon A Time and I'm even more in love with it now. I'm so excited for the season premiere on September 30th. We've recently gotten hooked on Boardwalk Empire too. It's been awhile since I've been in school but am I supposed to italicize TV shows too? Hey, I Googled that shit and I am CORRECT. And apparently you need to italicize the names of ships.
It makes me happy that this site included Starship Eterprise.

In other news, we watched Midnight in Paris and started Water for Elephants. I feel very neutrally about both Robert Pattison and Reese Witherspoon in the latter. I also don't know how I feel about whether or not I spelled their last names correctly. But I DO know that I don't care enough to Google.

3. My baby girl floated in a starfish formation ALL BY HERSELF yesterday at swim school. And she's putting her entire face in the water to "swim" which is code for "letting the teacher drag her through the water because she still won't kick." But still I am SO proud of her, omg. The kids in her class are a lot older than she is, but she's still hanging in there. I registered her for another five week session, with the same kiddos, so I think we'll get real progress. Hell, we already have! The first few lessons were full of tears and now she prances around the house doing "monkey walks" around all the coffee tables and she loves to show off her kicks in the tub. Now, if only she'd do them when she's in three feet of water instead of three inches.

4. Fall is creeping in and I can feel it, and see it, so much easier than the last time I blogged about it. There is a watery quality to the sunlight, and we've had a relative cold snap in the weather (lower 90's), AND it rained yesterday. It makes me wanna shiver, y'all!

Actually, it makes me really excited for Christmas. I can't yet decide if I want to do another Christmas Eve open house or another Christmas Eve dinner. But I definitely know I won't be doing both again. Jesus, that was horrible. But, anyways, yeah. Christmas! Christmas carols, homemade gifts, fires in the fireplace... Such a thrill!

5. Okay, I'm done now. HAPPY WEEKEND

Randoms.

1. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes split! I am so happy for her. Normally, Hollywood divorces, especially when children are involved, make me very sad. But due to Tom Cruise's utter creep factor and his spooky Scientology hard-on, I am just so happy Katie is getting out of there. I hope she wins full custody of Suri like she wants. I feel like such a loser for writing about this, but it's on my mind and won't get out.


2. My forearms are freaking blasted from this week's Wednesday Workout! God, burpees are intense. I highly recommend giving that workout a try or at the very least, throwing it at least three sets of 10 burpees between moves in your regular workout. Speaking of workouts, I only got in three this week and thanks to the pizza I had for lunch yesterday and the fast food breakfast I had this morning, I feel like a lardass. Next week, DO ALL THE WORKOUTS!

3. Hey people who wink: CUT IT OUT. I hate it. Unless you are 85 and a grandpa (yes both are required), it is creepy and gross and perverted. It doesn't convey charm or openness or swagger, it is just lame as hell. Each wink is like a bee sting to my senses.


4. Last night Todd and I had salmon burgers and it made me realize that there are people out there who do not know about these blessed creations. So I share them with you. They are Trident Salmon Burgers and we get them at Costco but I am sure they exist in other locations. Try that link, the website has an online store. Not sure how well frozen salmon patties travel but I'm sure they figured that shit out. After all, refrigerated train cars were invented like three hundred years ago.


5. I finished editing my book! I even drafted my first query letter. Of course, after doing that I realized it would add depth AND length (oh god am I talking about sex right now?) if I added the POV of one of the main characters. Then I realized that if I'm serious about publishing it, I should probably get some books and research life in the 1500s for the flashback scene. And then I had to change the names of three of my characters and thanks to one character's nickname being Eli, MS Word changed ALL the "eli"s in the story. Like "believe" for example. It was just one big clusterfuck. So now on top of research and more writing, I also have to comb through 70k words to manually change all the names that need replacing.  But, hey! Bright side is, I did all the editing!


6. I should really have a Randoms tag, I think.

Randoms.

1. Alexandra fell asleep on me last night while I watched Once Upon A Time, and made me think back to her infancy. When she'd fall asleep on me I'd just sit there in heaven, desperate to pee, ravenous and thirsty. It didn't matter; I was happiest just soaking up the baby love, slightly sweaty from the little baby furnace curled up on me. It was absolute heaven last night, watching Snow White kick ass while Alexandra dreamed away on my chest. And it was super rad how Todd and I changed her into an overnight diaper without even waking her up. But I will admit it was also pretty nice peeing after we placed her sleeping little body in her crib on a commercial break.

2. I am officially over that "Somebody That I Used To Know" song by Gotye. It's on every goddamn channel on the radio, and it's played every single day on every single one of them. I no longer care that she had her friends collect her records, that she treats him like a stranger, or that he screwed her over and couldn't get over an old flame. Go screw yourselves, Gotye and Kimbra. You were in my head on repeat this morning from 5am to when I finally fell back asleep by forcing myself to think of the Harry Potter theme.

3. Speaking of 5am this morning, I had an attack of my allergies. First I was so stuffed up I couldn't breathe. So I blew my nose a couple of times and then had to go use some Afrin. Then I apparently blew my nose another seven times (Todd, moved by a pity that is shocking considering I woke him up at 5am to blow my nose, counted how many times I had to do it) after a sneezing fit. Thankfully I didn't sneeze out the Afrin awesomeness, because I finally was able to breathe. I hate you allergies. Flowers, you suck. Trees, you're all a bunch of jerks.

4. We had pizza last night from Papa Murphy's. I strongly urge all of you, ALL OF YOU, to go there and get the taco pizza. Holy crap, that thing was like heaven. It was two indulgences, pizza and Mexican food, combining forces to create what can only be described as another wonder of the world, or to my diet plan, maybe another Horcrux. I told Todd last night, if only they could have found a way to include a ribeye steak and some pasta carbonara. Although had they figured that out the sun probably would have went nova from the sheer epicness.

5. Saturday, as I furiously scrubbed out more butt stains from another piece of furniture, I was back to hating the cat. But then this morning he lounged on the bathroom counter, purring, hanging out with me while I put my makeup on so I guess I'm back to kind of liking him. I need to find kitty diapers I guess.

Lazy!

I've been so remiss with posting lately, and to the 4.68 people who read this regularly, I'm sorry for being so boring. I have a couple of food posts I need to do, and the pictures are on my camera but my God, do you really expect me to plug it into my computer and transfer them? I mean, how hard am I supposed to work, here?

Anyways, I've also sort of been drawing a blank about what to write. There's no big huge topic looming on my mind. I guess could do another Randoms post today, for updates such as:

Alexandra turns two on Wednesday (!!!!!)

She's started picking her nose

Todd cleaned up the back yard and it looks really nice

I've resorted to windexing my kitchen floor every other day because it gets so filthy, so quickly, and I am tired of mopping the mother fucker only for it to be utterly disgusting in less than 12 hours

I ate a ton of naughty carbs this weekend and I felt so gross and puffy last night that I looked six months pregnant

My knee is barely even hurting today so woohoo!

The bruise I got from falling at the gym is literally the size of my hand and so epic and awesome that it is a constant struggle not to just pull down my pants in public and show random strangers

I have been teetering on the edge of depression because Once Upon A Time took a three week hiatus and I'm not ashamed to admit that this weekend's episode ranks a close second on my excitement scale, right behind Alex's birthday party


Well, that was fun! Although now that I think about it, the topic I should most likely discuss is Alexandra's impending birthday. Two! In two days! We finally turned her carseat around and I am so, so happy. We put it right behind the driver's seat and I can see her in my rearview, and reach back while at stop lights to tickle her legs. She's going to be two.

I guess I know what tomorrow's post will be. Once Upon A Time!! In SEVEN DAYS AAAAAHHH!

Randoms.

1. I fell in the gym last night. Yep. I was that girl. There's this machine where you do backward/upward leg curls to get your hamstrings and glutes. You step up on a plate, rest your stomach on a padded rest and lean over, grabbing handlebars and resting your forearms on two other padded rests. Then you place one foot on the um, the foot plate, so it looks like you're about to kick a ball or something? Adjust the weight and push your foot back, activating the hammies and the butt muscles.

Ok, so the important part here is that you step up on a plate. I'd used this machine before, and so I wasn't scared. I was honey badger. I put down my water bottle, draped my towel where my stomach was going to rest, and did two sets on each leg until I couldn't fathom doing another rep. Then I got down.

By "got down" I mean I stepped down onto my water bottle, slipped off of it, twisted to try and catch myself, slammed the side of my right butt cheek into a protruding handle on the machine next to me (WHICH WAS CURRENTLY IN USE BY A GYM PATRON) and managed to regain my balance before face planting onto the floor. Did I mention this was during the post-5pm rush? Did I mention that the row of machines I was in was completely full of people so that I had no other place to hide and look busy? Did I mention that everyone was looking at me yet the only person who asked if I was all right was the man on the machine into which I had slammed my butt? Yeah, well, all those things are true. Moving on.

2. I've really managed to rein in the cussing around Alexandra. Now instead of saying "SHIT" after I say it, thanks to word replacement on my part now she says "Oh doggone it!" which is of course, adorable, especially these days when she correctly says "balloon" (instead of "baboon!!!") and "lotion" (instead of "sho-shin"). "Oh doggone it" comes out like "Oh dodogone it" or something.

However, now she's telling Patton to "LIE DOWN" and "SHUT UP" and I am like "Oh my God, I verbally assault the dog and am teaching Alexandra to do the same" so I guess it's back to the drawing room to work on sweetly telling Patton to "be quiet" before Alexandra picks up on my saying "Would you shut the fuck up forever before I pull all your fur out?" said in a stage whisper every time our neighbor slams his car door.

3. Downton Abbey season two finally cropped up on Netflix and we're already one disc deep into the series. SO happy we have this show in our clutches once more. Oh! And Game of Thrones is next on the list. Now if they could only get their crap together and put the second season of The Walking Dead on there, because I am so bored by having dreams with no zombies in them, and bored from lying in bed not wondering if the rolling shutters would hold up to a zombie attack.

4. After some slight setbacks (Chinese takeout, Greek Easter celebration, Easter itself, anyone?) I am ready to get serious about doing this Paleo diet. I noticed the other day after eating one of Alexandra's cheese sticks, in a fit of post-workout starvation, that I felt really gross and uncomfortable afterwards. Since I had eaten it in a lettuce wrap with nothing more but chicken, and since I eat chicken nearly every day (don't get me started on lettuce), I'm concluding it was the cheese. I actually don't eat a lot of dairy, and after the initial "OMG GIVE UP MY CHEESE??" it dawned on me that the only cheese I'd truly miss is parmesan which, as a hard cheese, isn't nearly as hard on my system.

Anyways, I've realized that what I don't want to give up are these: parmesan, pad thai and legumes. I know legumes are only edible if cooked and therefore off the Paleo list, but since I won't be eating a raw grean bean or yam any time soon, I'm counting them in. Pad thai, mmm. I love the noodles but they're not necessary. The sauce though... I don't know off the top of my head what is it in, but I won't give it up, no ma'am. Not even if it's full of flour and soy.

I did realize, however, that I also need more tools than just the internet for this one. I want to get a Paleo book, and then a Paleo cookbook. I need to be armed with more than just a 3/4-hearted desire to make a switch and nothing more, especially since we still have all these breads and crap in the house (you can only push a man so far; asking to take away his quesadillas is too far, I guess). So on payday this Friday, I'll be hitting up some bookstores.

5. You guys, I cannot BELIEVE I fell down at the gym. There is this huge raised ugly bruise on my side-butt and I would have had Todd take a photo (real close up so the bruise was all you saw) but then, everyone would know that was my butt, and I guess a photo would just add insult to injury (literally).

See you tomorrow for Wednesday Workout! And no, it won't include falling on your ass in a room full of strangers.

Some Randoms (and a Harry Potter-related revelation).

Poop Flu

 I have been sick with a stomach bug thing for the past couple of days, so I apologize for not having any new posts since Monday. At least, I think it was Monday. I've been too busy making the bathroom my second home to recall correctly.

Anyways, without getting too graphic, it was somewhat traumatic. No barfing, but I think Alex had the same thing. We both were feverish Monday night, with she waking in a cold sweat once and I tossing and turning, freezing and hot at the same time, body aching so badly it felt like it was on fire. She had a couple of horrifying diapers (but luckily only one blow out). Good stuff! I stayed home Tuesday to recoup. I'm better now, but I still have 'Nam-like flashbacks every time my stomach gurgles.

Mansfield Park

One thing that was keeping my relatively low spirits up, aside from my lovely family, was reading Mansfield Park. A year or two ago, when my mom and step dad still lived in Nashville, there was a local bookstore sadly going out of business. My mom asked what I'd like, since I had long ago received an equally long-forgotten certificate for the store. I asked for all of Jane Austen's novels. Now, as big a fan as I am of hers, I'll admit that I've only ever read Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensability and Persuasion. So I was happy to have the entire collection at my fingertips to read, re-read and thoroughly enjoy them.

Well that was a year or two ago and finally this week, I decided to crack open Mansfield Park. As always with period novels, it can take a while to get into the cadence and vocabulary of the time, which was true in this case as well. The first page or two I had to read and re-read because I would read, but get lost in my own thoughts and not let the words sink in. Now, however, I'm zipping through chapters like Austen and I have been besties since 1801.

This book is so addictive, I went to bed at 10pm last night, before Todd (he was watching a show on sharks), and was still reading long after he went to sleep. I read until I peeked at the clock and almost wet the bed when I realized it was 11:49pm. Then I laid awake for a few minutes thinking about all the characters. Once I'm done with it, I'll give a more thorough review (I don't have much regard for any of the characters right now, I'll admit it). And I like Fanny Price but man, I wish she'd just man up and slap the shit out of Mrs. Norris like I wish I could. I'm only three chapters into Volume 2 though, so I will be patient and wait for the comeuppance that Mrs. Norris will likely receive, though from fate and karma and not from Fanny's timid, delicate hand.

.... OH MY GOD IS THIS WHY ARGUS FILCH'S CAT IS NAMED MRS. NORRIS?!!?

ETA: Yes, yes it is!

Wedded Bliss

My best friend Kendra got married last weekend! Once she puts up some photos I will shamelessly steal them and post them here. The wedding was gorgeous! Five of us were in the wedding party: Todd, Alexandra, brother in law Scott, sister in law Amery, and yours truly. It's like we took over! Kendra was a gorgeous bride, Dwayne was a handsome groom, and it was just an all around merry occasion.

I have a feeling that the exhaustion from the festivities might have led me down the path to illness though. I mean for God's sake, Todd and I are still sore from dancing at the wedding! I mean, we're fit people. As I say numerous times on here, I'm training for a very significant event, and Todd teaches kung fu three times a week while also fitting in numerous other workouts that he does solo.

We're no strangers to physical activity, yet here we are with sore necks, aching backs and do not get me started on how sore my calves were from dancing in heels and then unceremoniously tossing them to the side of the dance floor so I could dance barefoot, yet for some reason still dance on my toes. Well, Todd's 6'7" so there's that, but still, I'm 6', I am no mini pop tart.

Falling Behind

Due to the wedding, and to the sickness, I haven't gotten back on track with my working out, which makes me feel lazy, or my routine at all, which makes me feel out of sorts. I am very much a fan of a daily, nightly, weekly routine, despite being a Sagittarius with a travel bug, the wind in her hair, flying by the seat of her pants. I love accomplishing my daily goals, which really don't vary much day to day unless I'm short on blog posts or need to do my nails or am seriously behind on reading Oh No They Didn't. But usually it's this: work out, walk dog, Alexandra time, shower, make dinner, cuddle with Todd, bed.

Even though stuff got done, and the house doesn't explode if I don't follow my little routine, it seriously sets me off kilter. It's already Thursday and I have only taken two walks with Alex and Patton, I've only made dinner twice, but on a high note I never once threw up.

I'm looking forward to next week, to resuming workouts and my nightly and daily duties to my family and household.

Goddamn Animals

 Last Friday, a week ago, actually, while I was getting ready for Kendra and Dwayne's rehearsal/getting my nails done with the other bridesmaids/rehearsal dinner, Bingley decided to jump up on our side table and do biddy-battle with the bamboo plant that was stuck in about 10lbs of glass beads in a huge vase. Oh yeah, you know where we're going with this.

So this 2lb kitten somehow gets all tangled in the bamboo while simultaneously slipping off the marble-topped table. He drags the entire thing down with him. Glass shatters, beads go skidding across the living room floor, water goes everywhere. It's mayhem. I was on the phone with Kendra when it happened. I interrupted her with "OH MY GOD, THAT FUCKING CAT I'LL KILL HIM" which I repeated about 385749 times before hanging up with the ever-gracious bride. I cleaned up the mess and then went to go hunt down the bastard kitten when I found him, terrified and yet courageously still trying to clean himself, in Alexandra's room. I picked him up to inspect him, which is when I found the blood.

Horrified, I checked all over his little kitty body, where there were tiny wispy flecks of blood. The vase had been quite thick and it broke into several shards; the damage to a little body could have been grievous. But all was well, so... where was all this blood coming from?

His poor little tail! A glass shard must have landed right on poor Bingley's tail, but luckily for everyone, it landed at an angle. It looked like it had nearly cut the last two inches of tail off though; it hung limply, at an angle, and it was quite bloody. I immediately regretted all those horrible things I said about him. I wrapped it in cold, wet paper towels and applied pressure while I frantically, repeatedly called Todd who at various times throughout the day decides to never answer his phone. Finally he came home, we took a look and were totally grossed out to see something white inside the gash. We're not sure if it was bone, cartilage or tendon, but considering how high up the tail it was, we're banking on cartilage.

Anyways, the little trouper was an angel, and stayed still long enough so we could wash it, apply Neosporin and bandage the tail. Remarkably, he never messed with the dressing, and we changed it twice throughout the week before I noticed, yesterday, that due to the rambunctious nature of a kitten, the dressing had slid down, exposing the wound, which had a super awesome, very impressive scab completely covering, and thusly protecting, the injury. We were scared, but Bingley was awesome. He was bouncing off the walls the very day after the accident. Animals are pains in the ass, true, but they're absolutely wonderful, and amazingly resilient.

Mystery Solved

So for my last little tidbit (little? tidbit? this post is a goddamn mile long!), I will share my discovery from last night.

One of the countless little things that solidified Todd's and my relationship was a love of playing with hair. Specifically, mine. Todd loves playing with my hair and has perfected a strange and intricate way of twirling, loop-de-looping, and inevitably tangling my hair into a tight, complex knot which then requires a subsequent five to ten minutes of detangling.

Well, ever since I had Alexandra, I had noticed some weird changes to my hair. First off, as several of you all may know, hair doesn't fall out throughout a woman's pregnancy. The result is almost enough to make up for all the negative side effects of pregnancy (hey, I said almost): a full head of lustrous, prenatal-fueled gorgeous locks. Then, around the child's third or fourth month of life, all that hair that hadn't fallen out says adios and the bottom of your tub makes you wonder if you were the victim of a curse like that one bitch in the movie The Craft. Actually I guess all those girls were bitches. I digress.

After the hair exodus died down, then I noticed that all sorts of baby hairs were cropping up. First they stuck up along my part, an inch or two long, then they gradually calmed down and laid flat like the rest of my hair. But they seemed to stop right around ear level. I was mystified.

Then last night, Todd got a major knot stuck in my hair. After several loud popping and snapping sounds, he said "Sorry, puppa" and removed a huge knot of my hair. Yeah, I said removed. Suddenly I said "Holy shit! You are the reason my hair is all shredded!!" and I proceeded to show him, in a perfect ring around my head, how my hair was all broken around ear level, in a tattered and non-pretty fashion. We were both mortified, because as two adamant lovers of long hair, neither of us could really condone hair twirling anymore.

While it's a relief that there's nothing wrong with me or my hair, hormonally or chemically or whatever, I'm still really depressed about no more twirls. I asked if he'd just comb it with his fingers but according to Todd, twirling is second nature, and will be hard to re-wire.

What do Sunning Clothes, Oleander and Restless Leg Syndrom have in common?

Not a damn thing! Well, except this post.

Sunning

I don't have any photos of my laundry whites hanging in the sun, and even if I did I probably wouldn't post them. Like you all need to know the sweat patterns of Todd's and my bodies. But I did want to bring up something that I'm not sure a whole lot of people are aware of: Sunning whites can bleach out sweat stains and discolored whites!

It's true. The sun is also powerful enough to moderately sanitize stuff. Now, don't set your surgical instruments out in the sun for five minutes and expect a clean operation, but as far as sunning rugs, drapes, pillows and non-washable comforters or quilts goes, it can really help to disinfect and to freshen. Plus it leaves that singular summer smell of sun in your things which, while it won't last for long, is still a nice kickback, at least for me, to outdoor slumber parties in high school, where we'd wake up in the sunlight.

So next time the dog sleeps on the sofa one time too many and the Febreeze just isn't cutting it, give the sun a chance. Leave any bulky items like pillows or rugs out for a handful of hours and let the sun do its work.

Oleander

Ugh. This shit. Not only is it damn near impossible to get rid of once it has settled into your yard, but it's horrifically poisonous. For those who live in Tucson, you'll probably remember that the male giraffe from Reid Park Zoo died not too long ago, and he died from oleander poisoning. Oleander is extremely toxic, and reports state you can die from ingesting half a leaf. And a famous ghost story revolves around using oleander to poison a woman and her two children by putting the stuff into a child's birthday cake.

I'm posting this because I don't think everyone knows it; Todd and his brother Scott were incredulous when, after dating Todd a few weeks, I talked about oleander being toxic. They simply couldn't believe it, mostly because the shit is everywhere in Tucson, including the zoo. Oleander poisoning actually happens to be one of my biggest fears (aside from sharks in swimming pools and all my teeth falling out), and I'm terrified for Alexandra as she gets older and more adventurous. I implore everyone to let everyone know about this plant and its nefarious dark side.

Restless Legs Syndrome

Ugh. This shit. I have what I would call a mild case of restless legs. I say mild because I've read stuff online about how bad it can get. Occasionally it will keep me up until 2am or 3am, but mostly, it's never that bad. I work out regularly, take walks regularly, and when the RLS strikes I do squats, pace the house, etc. And sometimes it just doesn't help. And that really, really sucks. For those who have the pleasure of a RLS-free life, imagine being dog tired, reading in bed until your eyes cross, setting your book down, turning off the lights, settling into bed, drifting off.... zzzzt. You twitch your leg a little. Was that a bug bite? Maybe the sheet was tickling you... No matter... zzzztZZZZT. You kick your leg out as if a doctor was testing your reflexes, but it wasn't really you kicking it. You couldn't help yourself. It happens three more times. Four more times. Now you're wide awake. And you are pissed. off.

That's what it is for me, and it happens almost every single night now. It got SO much worse during my pregnancy, as if my sleep wasn't robbed enough, but while it's much better now, it's still more persistant than ever before. I refuse to take medication for it because come on, it's lame. But I do think I've finally found a solution:

Too-warm temperatures. I have obviously no scientific backing on this, but I do have empirical evidence. Several nights ago, frustrated with the creepy-crawly onslaught of RLS, I kicked off the covers and flipped onto my stomach. This way I can let my feet hang off the end of the bed and I push my toes against the edge of the mattress as an exercise to exhaust the muscles. It only works some of the time, but it's also a good way to vent my RLS-induced rage. But this time, with only a sheet over me, my legs cooled down, and....

I went to sleep. What! So I tried it the next night, and the night after, and the night after that. It works every single time. I'm in bed, exhausted, I get ready to sleep and before the Restless Legs even strikes me, I just kick off the covers, take only the sheet, and boom. I'm asleep. Later when I wake while rolling over, I'll grab the blankets and it's all better (I did some online research and the RLS tends to strike only in the start of the night, so after a few hours it's good to go).

Anyways, I just wanted to share that